September Stundie Absolute Finals

[Travis]

Hey everyone. A nasty week long fever couldn't keep me down forever. At least not enough to keep me away from devoting a couple of nights to getting the September Finals out to you all.

Well here is the winner from August. Remember this is in response to being given multiple examples.

"That's what I figured. You could not and would not name just one."

______________
(1)
Mike, you are on with Time Traveler 97.5 the only radio station for time lord entertainment. What is on your mind, Mike?

If Netanyahu had died earlier, could WWIII have been prevented?
You comments please.

​

__________________
(2)
The vaccination program for Warhammer 40000 sounds peachy.

This is becoming a very common type of genocide in the Kwanstain. Doctors tell parents it is time to get their child vaccinated. Their child is permanently crippled/killed/rendered brain dead. Authorities tell police it could not possibly have been the vaccine, parents are prosecuted for child abuse. So we could say doctors are so monstrous that first they murder the children and then they murder the grieving parents or send them to prison for the rest of their lives. Life under Stalin in the Soviet Union was a picnic compared to this hellhole.

__________________
(3)
And are doctors really rushing to a patient when they call out a Code Blue?

[SIZE=-1]First Responders and Neighborhood Watch Groups Are Stalking/Harassing(COINTELPRO) tactics - A National Disgrace![/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] Are Fireman really going on a call when you see them passing/going by ??? with flashers and sirens blaring ???...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1] Are cops really going on calls when you see them do the same thing ??, how about Ambulances ?[/SIZE]

__________________
(4)
Ha, I am well on my way to being so powerful not even an alliance of Gandalf, Dumbledore and that kid who spends six hours a day on WOW can defeat me. My maniacal whims would be humanity's laws. I'd rule for a centu.......did that redhead just wink at me?

Celibacy sure has its virtues. In fact, a few months ago, I stated, celibacy is the right of the sorceror. It can develop psychic powers. But celibacy is also superior to fornicating with White girls. There is wisdom in the Catholic teaching that you either have no kids or a lot of kids. If you have a few kids, they are easy prey to predators.

__________________
(5)
This person is talking that smart type talk. Can I get a translator?

I don't know why anyone needs to tell you this----BUT HUMANS ARE NOT ANIMALS.

Not only have you failed human biology, you also fail basic science.

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Synapsida
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Tribe: Hominini
Genus: Homo
Species: H. sapiens

I guess you can't understand. Can someone else explain this to him/her?

__________________
(6)
Erastothenes died like over two thousand years ago. Surely we now believe Earth to have a more awesome circumference.

How do rockets function in space?
(a)It's a vacuum, so there is nothing to push againsed and nothing to support ignition.

All I can find on google is (b)Newtons law, which don't really explain much and(c) the guy lived a couple of hundred years ago, have we not moved on since then?

This is just a general question that came to me, nothing else

__________________
(7)
Here's a fun game: take a drink every time this person argues against something no one has ever argued for. Ever. Not even in jest. Not even in the middle of a mescaline/LSD/mushroom drug trip. Not even at that mixer where you found out the cute girl in the green dress was an astrophysics major and you just starting throwing up vaguely space like words while trying to figure out the perfect thing to say that surely would win her over but you never do but that was alright because you puked from nervousness later.

over time and years we are told mars is the red planet even though no one had gone there. So when we think of mars it is a red planet hot and a earth desert. And we see pis that come back looking like a hot desert red planet. We see cartoon/computer image of rover landing. something not right as to get to mars you need not just a rocket but more, and yet we see pics of no rocket LOL just 1968 I dream of jeanni ....a small thing that uses 360 deg pic as any real estate uses and even nasa cant use this 360 camera. We have a remote control car on mars driven by ppl on earth and yet the same tech can not dive 10 miles under water to view titanic....No one has set foot on mars so why do these ppl use motor cars..mars is not next door it light days away from earth and yet we have ppl who put a FORD on mars. Its not like at war and men in a room are sitting down playing real war games. Mars had wind cos rover used a parasute... why would mars have wind after all mars is a red planet but if mars had wind they would have rain and sun light....funny how rover no rocket just a small thing that shot out a shoot to land 4 wheels. A cheap scam mars is....how far is mars and hoe many of you ppl that live 4 kms from town and dont have internet sevice.. mars I think is a lie...why would nasa use a balloon to come back down to earth(sorry mars) if they did go to mars how much money and how many ppl were killed to get to mars.

​

Crap I think I just killed some people.
__________________
(8)
Yeah who ever heard of a bunch of suicidal terrorists taking risks?

No one knows what would happen. I believed the plane was real but I am not sure anymore after watching this video. Flying a plane into that tower would require a hell of a risk or at best plenty of experience form practical applications in real world.

__________________
(9)
Everyone knows Newton hated basic units of measurement. He calculated Force (F) as an intangible fancy (IF) multiplied by a Whim (W). F=IFxW

Flight 175 at 590 mph. You failed to do your research and don't use science to form rational claims, posts, and conclusions.

RADAR proves it was an aircraft, exactly Flight 175.
The plane is more than an Al shell, it is people, luggage, steel, titanium, stainless steel, Kevlar, fiberglass, 66,000 pounds of jet fuel, etc.

It was Flt 175, 277,580 pounds at impact, 125,908 kg, going 590 mph, 865 kph, impact energy of 2093 pounds of TNT; do you need that in Joules?

These are impressive numbers. So impressive they even ignore Newtonian laws.

__________________
(10)
Well if it is a Vatican approved super extinction preventing bread I am on board. Do you have a military genocide preventing super bread Islam? Hinduism? Shamanism? Didn't think so.

Okay, people of the South, people elsewhere in America, this unorthodox military brain is going to tell you how we beat the Obama plan to soon militarily take over America and be dictator of America for life while killing off somewhere from a small figure of maybe 10 million Americans up to a higher figure of maybe 150 million Americans or more. I have two aces to play in this game. First, I have my father's Vatican endorsed super health bread which university tests of years ago said the whole human race on earth will go extinct like the dinosaurs if this super health food is not soon added to the American diet and all other diets in the world. It means if anything happens to me that the human race on earth goes extinct as I am the only person on earth who knows the trade secret engineering to this industrial food process.

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(11)
Ha, you expect me to use the results of your science when a clash between science and science haters will obviously turn us into a technology deprived wasteland one day? Also why do we watch TV when all shows eventually end or get recast?

I don’t think it’s guaranteed that chickenpox boosters will be available in fifty years to the working class on account of the predicted decline of our society, and one of the symptoms (and perhaps causes) of our decline is the way in which we have broken up into groups that regard only their own ideologically pure as Good and everyone else as Bad in every possible way. In the battle between scientism and science-haters

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(12)
Barrack Obama. Illegitimate president. Also, somehow, the first ever president. *mind asplodes*

And if you are so conncered about the birthplace of your Preisdents why have you not to date called for the birth certificates of the previosu presidents to be produced?

Name one.

__________________
(13)
Remember that is a picture of a tautology because it is a picture of a tautology.

Yes, because tourists with cameras don't exist in New York, and certainly wouldn't be near the Towers.

They couldn't have caught a plane if there was no plane. Assuming there was no plane. If they caught it, they could not be tourists.

__________________
(14)
This has to be one of the most confusing ways to agree with someone.

You can start by accepting the fact that the ”illuminati” doesn't actually exist.

Spaghetti monster doesn't exist, Santa Clause doesn't exist, Yettie doesn't exist..., you get the picture.

__________________
(15)
I miss the days of analogue pictures on the internet.

The optimization argument is a straw man by reason of the fact that no serious birther has denied that there may well be evidence of optimization. But together with the evidence of a digitized image, what we have here in the COLB is a digitized forgery that may well have been optimized.

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(16)
Standardoil.com was undone when the supremecourt.gov got on them for being a monopoly.org.

The only reason MicroSoft.Com can get away with selling such a shoddy product is because IBM.Com handed MicroSoft.Com a monopoly back in 1981 when IBM.Com decided to use MSDOS as the operating system for its new desktops (none ever get fired for buying IBM).

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(17)
Hmmm, if a community is people then a person must be a community!

The recent Supreme Court decision (Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission), decided that corporations are people. Using this logic it is safe to say that if corporations are people, people are corporations. It may take awhile for the law to catch up with current events, in time it will!

__________________
(18)
Now in my day trains ran on parallel tracks. I don't like these newfangled Moebius trains.

really. only an imbecile would claim LATITUDES and train tracks are the same - latitudes NEVER meet

__________________
(19)
Who allowed these court things to decide stuff? That's hardly fair.

It only 'does not work,' because the courts don't allow it to work.

__________________
(20)
Alright all we need to do is create a plan with zero risk that also makes it easy to detect by those that wish to stop it.

Such technology can fail. The cabal plans for ZERO risk. A more pertinent question would be why they made the time signals so conspicuous. Maybe they wanted people to find out! And still get away with it! Because it's not valid as evidence in court perhaps.

 

[carlitos]

I think I have 2 this month.

 

[Myron Proudfoot]

thanks Travis, hope you are feeling better

 

[EventHorizon]

"Humans are not animals" might be one of my all-time favorites.

 

[Travis]

Looks like the tautology might win because the tautology is a maybe winner.

 

[Rolfe]

I really like everything.com, because I didn't spot the point of the nomination at first, and it was funny when the penny dropped.

Rolfe.

 

[Travis]

I really like everything.com, because I didn't spot the point of the nomination at first, and it was funny when the penny dropped.

Rolfe.

I hate to admit it but it took me several hours to come up with that intro.

Sometimes simple comedy is the hardest......at least for me.

 

[brazenlilraisin]

3, 5, 8, 13, 14.

 

[akama1]

5, 7, and 10 stood out. The vatican bread guy continues on. I remember reading it in full, scare read.

 

[Border Reiver]

Went with 10, 11, and 20

And now, beer

 

[Sledge]

Looks like the tautology might win because the tautology is a maybe winner.

 

[cjnewson88]

9 was good, but 18 just has to take it. That entire thread was a gold mine.

 

[jaydeehess]

I really like everything.com, because I didn't spot the point of the nomination at first, and it was funny when the penny dropped.

Rolfe.

ok,I just went back and re-read it. Did not notice the temporal confusion before.

Voted 13, 18, 20 though if truth be told I could have checked off every single box this month.

btw, was't there a nom a few months ago for a poster who seemed to believe that no research could have been done before the advent of both the internet and Google? Allthings.com reminded me of him.

 

[Travis]

Yeah, research before Google was just impossible. That was a funny one.