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Romney's Grand Plan

HoverBoarder

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May 18, 2011
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Sometimes Satire just hits an issue right on the head.

Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around

'I'm Lying More,' He Says


with a month to go before ballots are cast, Romney has pulled even with President Obama, and the former Massachusetts governor credits his rejuvenated campaign to one, singular tactic: lying a lot.

“I’m lying a lot more, and my lies are far more egregious than they’ve ever been,” a smiling Romney told reporters while sitting in the back of his campaign bus, adding that when faced with a choice to either lie or tell the truth, he will more than likely lie. “It’s a strategy that works because when I lie, I’m essentially telling people what they want to hear, and people really like hearing things they want to hear. Even if they sort of know that nothing I’m saying is true.”

...

Whether it’s a senior citizen, military family, working mother, businessman, or middle-class American, Romney said, he will lie to every single one of them as often as he can if that’s what it takes to win the presidency.

“The best part is, it’s really easy to lie,” said Romney, who added that voicing whatever untruths come into his mind at any given moment is an easy thing to do because all it requires is opening his mouth and talking. “For example, if someone accuses me of having a tax plan that makes no discernable sense, I just lie and say that I do have a tax plan that makes sense. I also say there is a study that backs up my plan. See that? Simple.

Moreover, Romney said, if anyone does accuse him of lying, he will simply say he is not lying, which he noted is just an extension of the overall strategy.

“So, if I’m talking to retirees,” Romney continued, “I lie and say I’ll fight tooth and nail to save Medicare, which causes them to applaud. On the other hand, if I’m talking to the party base, I lie and say we have to cut Medicare, which causes them to applaud.


Ah, so classic.

If someone asks him about lying, he just lies about lying, it's great!
 
That's Clinton's reaction to the latest incarnation of Romney, not this brilliant article from The Onion. I liked the last line, "Following the interview, Romney told various reporters that, if elected, he would save the newspaper industry."
 
That's Clinton's reaction to the latest incarnation of Romney, not this brilliant article from The Onion. I liked the last line, "Following the interview, Romney told various reporters that, if elected, he would save the newspaper industry."

I was a hilarious and witty article. I loved it!

Almost a little scary how realistic some of it was though.
 

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