qayak
Penultimate Amazing
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2006
- Messages
- 13,844
So, about half an hour ago, the phone rings. thinking it is a friend who is expecting me to pick her up, I answer it. Well, it isn't my friend. Who it is, is a woman asking me if I want to participate in a road safety survey being conducted by the BC government under the direction of the Solicitor General.
Being the good citizen that I am, I decided that although my friend is probably waiting, I will take the 10 minutes to respond to the survey. (Translation: I am an anarchist and I want to see how the government is going to screw this one up!)
The woman asks the first question and my immediate answer is "I have no idea!"
Woman: "Sir, on a scale of 1-5, with one being no problem and 5 being a great problem, how much of a problem do you feel drinking and driving is?"
Me: "Well, what do you mean? If someone drinks and drives, it is a huge problem but I think the problem of drinking and driving in BC is pretty low."
Woman: "How about drug use other than marijuana while driving?"
Me: "Same thing. If someone is high while driving, it is a huge problem but I think it is a minor problem overall in British Columbia."
Woman: Sir, I can't answer the questions for you. What is your answer from 1-5?"
Me: "One"
Woman: "So you think it is no problem to drink and drive?"
Me: "Okay, five."
Woman: "So you think idrinking and driving is a huge problem?"
Me: "Okay, one."
Woman: "Sir . . ."
Me: "Okay, put me down for a five."
Woman: "Okay, how about while under the influence of drugs other than marijuana?"
Me: Well, if it is bad to be impaired by alcohol, it is just as bad to be impaired by drugs other than mariujuana. Five."
Woman: "How about driving while under the influence of marijuana?'
Me: "If marijuana impairs your perception, then it is just as bad as other drugs or alcohol when driving. Five."
And so it went for the next ten minutes. I knew how the survey was going to be interpreted just by the way the questions were asked but I answered anyway.
Right near the end, she informs me that all the information I give out will be completely anonymous and asks me to answer the following questions honestly.
Woman: "In the last 12 months have you ever driven while extremely tired?"
Me: "No."
Woman: "Have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol."
Me: "I seldom drink. No."
Woman: "Have you ever driven while under the influence of drugs other than marijuana?"
Me: "I don't do drugs. No."
Woman: "Have you ever driven while under the influence of marijuana?"
Me: "I don't smoke dope. No."
Woman: "This is really easy! Have you ever used a cellphone while driving?"
Me: "I don't own a cellphone. No."
Woman: "You don't own a cellphone? How can you not own a cellphone. . . oops, sorry sir. Have you ever driven above the legal speed limit?"
Me: "All the time."
Woman: "Really? Have you run a stop sign or stop light?"
Me: "No."
There were a lot of other questions but they were all very vague just like the first ones. With the awkward wording, the questions can be interpreted many different ways and can result in many different answers. However, I suspect that our right wing wacko government is going to make an announcement about pouring a ton of money into traffic enforcement in the very near future. I think they are going to cite the survey, saying that British Columbians feel that drinking and driving, drug use, marijuana use, cellphones, speeding, aggressive driving, are huge problems in British Columbia, which is not what I said. I said that if someone decides to drink and drive it is a huge problem but I don't think many British Columbians make that decision, very often. One drinking driver in a population of 4-5 million, is not a huge problem.
It will be interesting. I am thinking about writing a letter to one of the provincial newspapers regarding the ridiculousness of the questions asked on the survey.
I posted it here because I want my predictions made public before any government announcement. When that announcement turns out to be exactly what I predicted, I am going to demand Mr. Randi give me my million dollars!
Being the good citizen that I am, I decided that although my friend is probably waiting, I will take the 10 minutes to respond to the survey. (Translation: I am an anarchist and I want to see how the government is going to screw this one up!)
The woman asks the first question and my immediate answer is "I have no idea!"
Woman: "Sir, on a scale of 1-5, with one being no problem and 5 being a great problem, how much of a problem do you feel drinking and driving is?"
Me: "Well, what do you mean? If someone drinks and drives, it is a huge problem but I think the problem of drinking and driving in BC is pretty low."
Woman: "How about drug use other than marijuana while driving?"
Me: "Same thing. If someone is high while driving, it is a huge problem but I think it is a minor problem overall in British Columbia."
Woman: Sir, I can't answer the questions for you. What is your answer from 1-5?"
Me: "One"
Woman: "So you think it is no problem to drink and drive?"
Me: "Okay, five."
Woman: "So you think idrinking and driving is a huge problem?"
Me: "Okay, one."
Woman: "Sir . . ."
Me: "Okay, put me down for a five."
Woman: "Okay, how about while under the influence of drugs other than marijuana?"
Me: Well, if it is bad to be impaired by alcohol, it is just as bad to be impaired by drugs other than mariujuana. Five."
Woman: "How about driving while under the influence of marijuana?'
Me: "If marijuana impairs your perception, then it is just as bad as other drugs or alcohol when driving. Five."
And so it went for the next ten minutes. I knew how the survey was going to be interpreted just by the way the questions were asked but I answered anyway.
Right near the end, she informs me that all the information I give out will be completely anonymous and asks me to answer the following questions honestly.
Woman: "In the last 12 months have you ever driven while extremely tired?"
Me: "No."
Woman: "Have you ever driven under the influence of alcohol."
Me: "I seldom drink. No."
Woman: "Have you ever driven while under the influence of drugs other than marijuana?"
Me: "I don't do drugs. No."
Woman: "Have you ever driven while under the influence of marijuana?"
Me: "I don't smoke dope. No."
Woman: "This is really easy! Have you ever used a cellphone while driving?"
Me: "I don't own a cellphone. No."
Woman: "You don't own a cellphone? How can you not own a cellphone. . . oops, sorry sir. Have you ever driven above the legal speed limit?"
Me: "All the time."
Woman: "Really? Have you run a stop sign or stop light?"
Me: "No."
There were a lot of other questions but they were all very vague just like the first ones. With the awkward wording, the questions can be interpreted many different ways and can result in many different answers. However, I suspect that our right wing wacko government is going to make an announcement about pouring a ton of money into traffic enforcement in the very near future. I think they are going to cite the survey, saying that British Columbians feel that drinking and driving, drug use, marijuana use, cellphones, speeding, aggressive driving, are huge problems in British Columbia, which is not what I said. I said that if someone decides to drink and drive it is a huge problem but I don't think many British Columbians make that decision, very often. One drinking driver in a population of 4-5 million, is not a huge problem.
It will be interesting. I am thinking about writing a letter to one of the provincial newspapers regarding the ridiculousness of the questions asked on the survey.
I posted it here because I want my predictions made public before any government announcement. When that announcement turns out to be exactly what I predicted, I am going to demand Mr. Randi give me my million dollars!
