PROPHET OF GOD

[KRAMER]

This application came in this afternoon. I will not post his name here, because I do possess a certain "Fear of God", in a sense, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
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I, __________ AM a prophet of God!!! And so I shall give prophecy. Which I have already done not only in the past but I have more prophecy's for the future. I don't even remember all of my prophecy's. But some of the one's I do remember right off hand are.

Senator John Kerry will be elected President on November 2. He will die shortly after taking office. But he will raise taxes before he dies. John Edwards will not take his place as the new President.
But instead it will be Jimmy Carter. The archangel Gabriel told me this back in 1973 "Jimmy Carter is going to change his name and divorce his wife". I can come up with more predictions but I feel this shoul;d be enough to prove that I really didn't see a vision and here the archangel Gabriel or at least I knew what was going to happen for as happened. And Paul Harvey will talk about me on the radio. And he will ask his audience to support the president. And this will be before Halloween. Because I've heard him say in his future broadcast that at the time he would make this broadcast that Halloween was not too far off in the future.
And Paul Harvey will burn to death soon after this broadcast. Probably this year or at the latest 2005.

Also there was a story printed in the newspaper in Fargo in August of 1978 with a list of my predictions. If I could get a hold of this maybe this would be good enough for you to prove that I can do what I say I can do.
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I know that some of this is "funny", but I just can't summon the fortitude for even a half-hearted chuckle.

The frightening part of all of this is that no one really knows just how far some guy (or this guy) will go to see his predictions realized. I mean, if Paul Harvey suffers a violent death having something to do with fire, I'm gonna get mighty suspicious.

 

[KRAMER]

The Return of the Prophet

One of our many prophet's has submitted some revisions to his previous "claim".
============================================== I am a prophet of GOD! And here are some of my prophercies in chronological order:

#1- The NY Yankees are going to win the World Series in this year 2004.

#2- Paul Harvey is going to talk about me and my prophecies and my history on his radio show. And he will make reference to Halloween as being in the near future. And he will ask his audience to support The President in the upcoming election.

#3- Senator John Kerry will win this year's presidential election on November 2nd of this year.

#4- Or it Preseident John Kerry will raise taxes.

#5- President John Kerry will die in office only in a few days into his term of office.

#6- John Edwards will not become President.

#7- Jimmy Carter will change his name and divorce his wife.

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I like the Yankees prediction.

 

[KRAMER]

Re: The Return of the Prophet

#1- The NY Yankees are going to win the World Series in this year 2004.

WRONG. How I wish he was right, though.

#2- Paul Harvey is going to talk about me and my prophecies and my history on his radio show. And he will make reference to Halloween as being in the near future. And he will ask his audience to support The President in the upcoming election.

a- WRONG.
b- CORRECT. Halloween is just prior to Election Day. Wow. Yeesh.
c- Conservative radio personality supports Bush? Wow. Yeesh.

#3- Senator John Kerry will win this year's presidential election on November 2nd of this year.

WRONG.

#4- Or it Preseident John Kerry will raise taxes.

Pardon me?

#5- President John Kerry will die in office only in a few days into his term of office.

WRONG WRONG.

#6- John Edwards will not become President.

Well, I can't deny him this one.

#7- Jimmy Carter will change his name and divorce his wife.

When?

I guess the jury is still out on this one. But I tell ya; if Jimmy Carter changes his name to Marlene McMonkey, I'd vote for him.

But, I digress.

This applicant surely knows that the predictions he submitted with his Challenge application have fallen flat, so to speak, so the letter I've written notifying him that his claim has been proven invalid should come as no surprise.

Should he respond, and I think he just might, I will post that response herein.

 

[KRAMER]

My funniest moment at JREF:

I just looked through the entire file of this applicant and found some initial correspondence between himself and Randi (prior to my arrival here in March) in which he identifies the source of his prophecies as having been personally dictated to him by the archangel Gabriel...to which Randi personally replied:

"I checked with Gabriel and he says he never heard of you."

I've had some belly laughs here at JREF, but none more hearty or sustaining or life-affirming than this one.