Pray for stockbrokers

arcticpenguin

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http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...e=10&u=/nm/20030926/od_uk_nm/oukoe_odd_prayer

The Industrial Christian Fellowship, a cross-church group founded in 1877, said those in the financial sector missed out to "caring" professions, such as teachers and nurses, when it came to prayers in church.
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The group said it had already prepared some prayers for those in the financial world and was distributing them on its website under the headline "When did you last pray for your stockbroker?"
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Just a hypothesis of mine...

If word gets out that lots of Christians are praying for a stock, maybe CSCO (Cisco), they might be more inclined to invest in it. High volume + buy pressure = Successful Stock = $$$$$.

Although the prayer will not have an affect on the stock itself, you might be able to profit off the psychological aspect it has on investors.
 
Shades of "Slaughterhouse Five." Those of you who have read the book will know what I'm talking about.
 
Brown said:
Shades of "Slaughterhouse Five." Those of you who have read the book will know what I'm talking about.
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I have never read the book and am too far behind on my reading as it is to be able to read it in the near future. Could you fill in the clueless among us?
 
"Slaughterhouse Five" includes synopses of science fiction stories by fictional author Kilgore Trout. One such synopsis involved human guinea pigs imprisoned on an alien planet who followed the stock market. They tried all sorts of investing techniques, and the experimenters would raise or lower the market prices to see how these folks would react.
. . . It was about an Earthling man and woman who were kidnapped by extra-terrestrials. They were put on display in a zoo on a planet called Zircon-212.

These fictitious people in the zoo had a big board supposedly showing stock market quotations and commodity prices along one wall of their habitat, and a news ticker, and a telephone that was supposedly connected to a brokerage on Earth. The creatures on Zircon-212 told their captives that they had invested a million dollars for them back on Earth, and that it was up to the captives to manage it so that they would be fabulously wealthy when they were returned to Earth.

The telephone and the big board and the ticker were all fakes, of course. They were simply stimulants to make the Earthlings perform vividly for the crowds at the zoo--to make them jump up and down and cheer, or gloat, or sulk, or tear their hair, to be scared sh*tless or to feel as contented as babies in their mothers' arms.

The Earthlings did very well on paper. That was part of the rigging, of course. And religion got mixed up in it, too. The news ticker reminded them that the President of the United States had declared National Prayer Week, and that everybody should pray. The Earthlings had had a bad week on the market before that. They had lost a small fortune in olive oil futures. So they gave praying a whirl.

It worked. Olive oil went up.
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You know what this means, right? All of Wall Street must stop what it's doing and go do volunteer work at school and hospitals. Now. Or their souls will be in PERIL.
 
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