November Stundie Finals

[Travis]

Okay. At long last folks. First the weather, then the damage to my house, then my family falling ill and then the need to get ready for Christmas.......but finally they are here.


We gather here today to honor the person (or computer program engaging in a very esoteric Turing test) that wrote this:

"If it (light) takes 11 million years to travel to earth, how can i see it now? I'm only 20.

If it takes 11 million years to travel to earth then the viewer would need to be 11 million years old. "
​

Magnificent! That, gathered throngs, is what this is all about. Mocking idiocy and unsound logic. Here is the virtual trophy.

1) Yeah, that strange big thing up in the sky: Venus! Earth is on the other side of the Moon being eaten by Unicron.

Now, the earth and the moon are virtually identical distances from Venus. Venus from earth looks like a bright dot - few if any people can discern the pahases. This photo, supposedly from the moon, shows a hugely enlarged Venus - and yet the supposed moon equipment next to it is unenlarged, natural size photo as from normal (not long-focus) lens. It's clearly a fake photo.

****
2) They'll read about the radical that did nothing while being hated by everyone!

In a hundred years time, people will be reading Rob Menard as we do Lysander Spooner today.

****
3) So you want clear skies and predictable wind? And you want it done by hurricane!?! I know my name is Gene Oliver Danton but I just can't do that!

They faked the 9/11 video in advance and had to ensure that the day turned out bright and sunny, as seen in the faked videos. They engineered hurricane
erin for this purpose and directed it close to NY city to suck away any possibility
of a rainy or overcast morning. They also needed to coordinate the actual wind direction
to match up with the fake video.
(No clouds was the safest way to go for faked video,
like the no stars in the moon landing hoaxed shots - little chance of contradiction
between different faked video perspectives).

And G.O.D. Yes, they have the technology.

****
4) I want everyone here to get it. This man believes that lack of vitamins are the cause of many of our ailments. And that by engaging in "proper diet" we can protect ourselves from those conditions. So his answer for where Beriberi comes from is not demonic possession but Vitamin B₁.

You're finished. TAG-TEAM, where is the next one.

So the potential energy, that layed dormant within the structure was somehow responsible for it being pulverised. And I don't understand physics?

You don't realise it, but you just put the nail in your coffin. This is so FN ridiculous.

I want everyone here to get it. Staninsiderod believes that potential energy stored within the concrete floors when they were made was "waiting to be released" like a time-bomb and that the collapse was the trigger for this reaction.

So he's answer for where the "extra energy" came from, is not from demolition materials, but that each concrete floor PULVERISED ITSELF, like a time-bomb.

Note to staninsiderod...YOU'RE FINISHED, it will be almost impossible for you to turn this into a plausible solution or for you to redeem yourself now.

TAG-TEAM, where is the next one.

****
5) Yeah, it's a subliminal suggestion to keep graphics departments who put unneeded airplanes on floors well employed.

on saturday night i was flicking through the channels and went to bbc one and strictly come dancing was on and within 5 seconds i noticed graphics on the floor of planes flying through with trails behind them all the way to the other side of the studio!! i was thinking its subliminal programming by the bbc as the they are basically the leaders of the nwo in the uk with all there love of the eu which is the new world order

****
6) Say I asked Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Kobain what they feel about The X Factor. You would get an answer out of them much as I laid out that it is like the wine of the Gods. This contention of mine is a fact. An important one.

Say one asked Kennedy or Nixon, LBJ, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, Bushes 1 and 2, Obama, what they thought about the American Indian Tragedy. You would get an answer from all of these US presidents pretty much as I have laid it out. They would say tragedy yes, but God wants us to be here so it is OK. In this sense, my contentions are indeed facts, and very very very important ones.

****
7) Meta ignoring is the best type of ignoring.

Uhh, i think its rude behaviour, to not listen to the other, and just ignore everything.

That kind of people i always put on ignore

****
8) And my Aunt got too big a dose on her boob once so now she can turn invisible and has plasma poop.

When I was 18 months old, I was burned so badly with sodium lye internally I was expected to die. A priest gave me the last rites and it was predicted I would never see the sun rise. Not only did I not die, but in the coming years my waist vanished, my hair went curly and all of a sudden I seemed to have committed the entire contents of the Library of Congress to memory almost overnight before the age of seven. The doctor winced when he told me to squeeze his hand as hard as I could and told my father we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Something had clearly happened to me. My body had obviously repaired the genetic damage (lye is a saponifier, it breaks down organic material) it seems it just picked the wrong set of genes to do the repairs with.

****
9) Quiet back there! Us realmen^TM have already determined that Wisconsin is bigger than Texas and we did that with very precise guesstimation.

yes you do. eyeballing is how us realmen determine an EXACT ballpark figure...while you queenies
need some fancy intruments to calculate the measurement we realmen have already agree upon.

i say the moon is looking bigger!!! and that's that.

****
10) It took me nine months to train the nanothermic dust to only enter the fire a little at a time and never get caught out in the open where people can see them.

Choke the fire and unless it is receiving a steady stream of falling nanothermitic dust, it will be extinguished.

****
11) All that henocide will stop once Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way gets into parliament.

In this country government kills its own people. Our politician are completly corrupted and doesn't have any right to represent people, they lye to us every day. Our elections is joke and complete falcification. Our prime minister is a criminal who is involved in henocide of its own people. Our royal family is involved in hidden conspiracy of dumping deadly and toxic chemicals from the aircraft to UK population. Our bankers and business elite is financing this henocide operation.

****
12) And why do we use rockets when we could just build a very tall escalator?

Common sense would say if we want to have a stable foundation for the Spacestation, we should anchor it to the Moon? right?


wrong. they lied so much about the Moon Landing, that they had to re-route their lies into building a Spacestation suspended in outerspace instead.

You'd think if we went to the Moon once, we could go back anytime we felt the need to. and a Trillion dollar Spacestation is a need to in anybody's book.

The Space station needs boosters to stay in formation or it would float away into deep outerspace wouldn't it?

Again, why not anchor the Spacestation TO THE MOON?

****
13) I tried to convince Olivia Munn that her lack of knowledge of me means our love must be deep. Her many, many lawyers think otherwise.

Remember: The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

****
14) Certain parts of the spectrum continue their strike against radiating.

Aluminium does not reflect heat in the way you are hoping.
It might reflect light and that means different parts of the spectrum including UV and IR but that is not the same as reflecting radiant heat.

****
15) Crap. I guess this means it's back to being turtles all the way down.

My assumptions are correct and being common knowledge, are immune from attack.

****
16) It's true! Except for that one time I've never seen Herman Cain sexually harass someone. Also, I've never seen a kangaroo. Connection?

For every person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are thousands that would say none of (those) activities ever came from Herman Cain.

****
17) That's because the Sun has the most kick ass corset ever.

But it worth noting that the sun does not explode, despite being powered supposedly by fusion.

****
18) I think I see the problem here.

It's not ALL common sense uke2se........, you simply have to use common sense to see when common sense applies.

****
19) Good thing that Predator thing didn't land in that jungle.

Was discussing this with a friend of mine, he related an incident in Borneo where a communist geurilla was hit in the head at about 15 metres' range by 3 bullets from a sten gun. He turned and ran, then was killed by a grenade. They found that the bullets had penetrated 2 inches into his skull, without going through to the brain."

****
20) But is the half life of stupid the square of it's concentration?

Another inconsistency we can notice is why the nuclear material inside the bomb isn't slowly (but quite fast in fact) consumed ? In a nuclear plant, they say the nuclear material is consumed in less than three years and then needs to be replaced by a new one. But, for atomic bombs, it seems that the same laws don't apply. You can keep it during thirty year without any problem of material depletion.

In fact, the nuclear material inside atomic bombs should be depleted way faster than the one from nuclear plants, since it is supposed to be more concentrated (I speak of the state of the bomb before the explosion of course). It should be consumed in less than two or one year.

 

[Nursedan]

#9

The trademark made me laugh.

 

[Horatius]

There seems to be a 3A stundie in between 3 and 4, but it doesn't show up in the poll....Now I'm confused....

 

[EventHorizon]

Great crop this month.

 

[Walter Ego]

Vote For Robert!

My assumptions are correct and being common knowledge, are immune from attack.

Vote for number 15, "Common sense is immune." Stuff the ballot box if necessary.

Robert Prey has provided much Stundielicious Kook-a-tainment in his short time here. Permit me a retrospective of some of his more Stundatious comments.

Yeah, well Facebook is probably a little more reliable that the mainstream news media.

Oswald claimed to be a Marxist, but actually was a loyal patriotic American who loved his country, loved his president, was a former US Marine, worked for Naval Intelligence, as well as an operative for CIA and FBI, was sent to USSR after having been sheep dipped as a disloyal American, but never revoked his citizenship, was apparently sent to language school so that he could speak fluent Russian, then sent to USSR so that he could spy for the US. While he made a big splash with the Fair Play for Cuba Committee, he was also working with anti-Castro groups at the same time. Someday, when the full truth is accepted, he should be posthumously awarded the Medal of Freedom.

I see a shot from the front blowing out his head producing a predictable jet effect spray of blood, brain and tissue. You see only what you want to see. I also see Jackie turning around to the trunk to try to retrieve a chunk of the JFK's brain blown away from the back of his head. But it's all subject to interpretation, which is why my proof of a second shooter lies in the un-assailable statements of the Parkland Personnel, not the Z film.

What do other assassinations have to do with the JFK assassination in the world of objective rationality? Absolutely nothing.

I don't think so. But why beat a dead horse? Obama has won the birther issue by putting out a highly dubious certificate debunked by numerous experts, But the public is tired of the issue, so why beat a dead horse? Fact is, Donald has repeatedly said he just doesn't know. But we do know that Obama has somehow shielded all of his academic records from public scrutiny. And he gets away with it. Why? Because he is Black? (or sort of Black, uh somewhat).

 

[Elizabeth I]

I voted for No. 11 because "henocide" made me laugh out loud, and No. 20 because somebody who doesn't understand something about nuclear reactions that even I understand is in bad shape.

 

[Jrrarglblarg]

I voted 1 and 20. The nukelies knuckleheads are my new favorite nutters.

 

[Klimax]

Travis, you should have put at least warning around that link. My Immortal is quite dangerous (seen effects on very resistant people)

For rest beware clicking on that link leads to info about madness not even Unspeakable horrors can represent. Your brain will try to killy you if you go that way...

 

[carlitos]

Unicron?

 

[332nd]

Unicron?

A planet sized Transformer (Autobots, Decepticons, etc...) that eats planets.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicron

 

[Horatius]

Okay, there's something I need to discuss here, related to a recent nomination I made myself.

Take a look at these finalists:

2) They'll read about the radical that did nothing while being hated by everyone!

In a hundred years time, people will be reading Rob Menard as we do Lysander Spooner today.

8) And my Aunt got too big a dose on her boob once so now she can turn invisible and has plasma poop.

When I was 18 months old, I was burned so badly with sodium lye internally I was expected to die. A priest gave me the last rites and it was predicted I would never see the sun rise. Not only did I not die, but in the coming years my waist vanished, my hair went curly and all of a sudden I seemed to have committed the entire contents of the Library of Congress to memory almost overnight before the age of seven. The doctor winced when he told me to squeeze his hand as hard as I could and told my father we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Something had clearly happened to me. My body had obviously repaired the genetic damage (lye is a saponifier, it breaks down organic material) it seems it just picked the wrong set of genes to do the repairs with.

****
9) Quiet back there! Us realmen^TM have already determined that Wisconsin is bigger than Texas and we did that with very precise guesstimation.

yes you do. eyeballing is how us realmen determine an EXACT ballpark figure...while you queenies
need some fancy intruments to calculate the measurement we realmen have already agree upon.

i say the moon is looking bigger!!! and that's that.

****




13) I tried to convince Olivia Munn that her lack of knowledge of me means our love must be deep. Her many, many lawyers think otherwise.

Remember: The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

****



15) Crap. I guess this means it's back to being turtles all the way down.

My assumptions are correct and being common knowledge, are immune from attack.

****


18) I think I see the problem here.

It's not ALL common sense uke2se........, you simply have to use common sense to see when common sense applies.

****

I'm pretty sure some of these, and maybe all, are pure Poes. We seem to be getting to a point that, not only are we having difficulty telling real CT nonsense from made up CT nonsense*, we're having some people actively trying to screw us up like that**.

So I'm of two minds here....

1) We must be more diligent in our nominations, ensuring that only Real CT Nonsense*** gets nominated, and/or makes it into the finals.

Or:

2) We embrace the Poesters, and attempt to have an entire month of Stundie finalists that are legitimately ambiguous - Real or Poe? Because that would be both hilarious, and educational, showing that Poe's Law really works. Plus, did I mention hilarious?




*Okay, yeah, all "real" CT nonsense is made up, but you know what I mean, right?

**Damn you, Strawberry!

***See above footnote, you bastards, you know what I meant!

 

[Strawberry]

Oh dear! I apologize, I really didn't post that claptrap to make a bid for a Stundie, I was genuinely interested to see what you guys would make of that Griffis guy. I also thought I'd just have a bit of fun in the process and pretend to be a True Believer. It wasn't my intention to mess up your Stundie awards, which I have always enjoyed even as a lurker.

 

[Jrrarglblarg]

The nukelies kids are not poes. They are serious and heart-felt with their racist paranoia.

 

[Horatius]

Oh dear! I apologize, I really didn't post that claptrap to make a bid for a Stundie, I was genuinely interested to see what you guys would make of that Griffis guy. I also thought I'd just have a bit of fun in the process and pretend to be a True Believer. It wasn't my intention to mess up your Stundie awards, which I have always enjoyed even as a lurker.

Well, now I've lost all respect for you!

But seriously, you hooked a lot of people with that thread, and you should be proud of it!

The nukelies kids are not poes. They are serious and heart-felt with their racist paranoia.

Yes, they're Real CT Nonsense, but some of these others just can't be real, can they?

 

[jaydeehess]

bookends and a filler,
1, 10, and 20
1&20 becuase they are fine examples of Stundie, and 10 because MM just cannot see the folly of his contention, no matter how many times its pointed out.

 

[Blue Mountain]

I tried to keep my picks down to four, but #20 was just too much!

9) Realmen get it exactly almost right
12) Space Station should be teathered to the Moon
13) "No evidence" just means something is going down
15) Common knowledge is imnune from attack
18) Use common sense to know when to use common sense

 

[BaaBaa]

1 and 9- different flavours of dumb.

 

[Sabretooth]

3 is just so much fun to read, I had to vote for it.

We got HAARP, 9/11 fake video, and a moon hoaxer wrapped neatly into one single nom. A trifecta of stupid!

 

[Travis]

Yes, they're Real CT Nonsense, but some of these others just can't be real, can they?

This is a problem I run into every month. Some are pretty obvious. Some are less so. Lately I kind of just let them go on because, Poe or not, they are often damned funny.

 

[Horatius]

This is a problem I run into every month. Some are pretty obvious. Some are less so. Lately I kind of just let them go on because, Poe or not, they are often damned funny.

We might need a new on-going thread: Is it a Poe, or not? We could post quotes anonymously, and allow people to debate the question for a period of time. Then, identify the source, and see who changes their minds based on the context. Could be fun.