It was totally illegitimate to be afraid, and it was impossible to speak frankly. When Gilad Zar was murdered [in a terrorist ambush in 2001], Rabbi Melamed said that it was the greatest mitzva to die a martyr's death, that there was no greater commandment than giving one's life for the Land of Israel. The rabbi has a huge influence on Yigael, who always tries to please him and adopts his views. I could cry for hours and he was silent. He demonstrated a tremendous ability to be silent. He never came over to calm me, never embraced or caressed me. In a coldly quiet voice he would say, 'You have to strengthen your faith and understand what holiness is - the holiness of the Land of Israel.'
.....
"On the contrary: when I was traveling with people from the settlement and we passed Arabs in Hawara, and some of the settlers cursed them, I would look and see human beings - living men, women and children. Whenever I saw the suffering, the poverty, how they waited hours at checkpoints, their difficulty in managing their lives, getting out of Nablus, entering Nablus, I completely stopped identifying with the messages of the settlers, with the glorification of killing. The more I saw our control, the power, I understood that when you frustrate a whole nation, there is no way anything sane will come out of it.
"I don't know which political settlement is best - don't talk to me about politics. I only know that when I drove in an air-conditioned car and saw a woman waiting for hours in the broiling sun at a checkpoint, I couldn't bear it. Today I know that the extremist settlers do not own religious Zionism. Anyone who constructs his Zionism solely on the basis of occupied territories has a problem with his Zionism."