"National Sunday Law"

evildave

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Somebody (A 7th Adventist, perhaps?) mass-mailed a whole bunch of a book called "National Sunday Law", about end-times and bible quotes and beasties & such. I got one. Even has some numerology adding up to '666' in it. The whole works.

Due to the kerning of the font they chose, it looks like the first chapter is called "The Two Homed Beast".

Hmm... it seems satan has two homes. Maybe a vacation cottage by the beach?

The first thing that occurred to me that would be a bad national law would be to have religious service mandated as a "Sunday Law". Naturally, you could probably attend any day of the week, but if you didn't have receipts for tithing when an inspector (such as a Jehova's Witless) knocked on your door to demand it, you'd be arrested and force-fed religious gibberish in jail.

I mean, if we're going to talk paranoid delusions about flying apes of fire raining holy dung on the non-believers, we may as well come up with some other "wacky" scenarios.
 
Naturally Beast 666 of the Apocalypse has one home that lies untold fathoms beneath the sea, and a beach house in Miami.
 
You're only about half right...

While the beast does live in the center of the Earth (come on, use commonsense, kids), his other home is a Hellmouth situated somewhere in California, near Los Angeles.

See yall at the Hellmouth Pumpkin Patch this Hallowe'en! Hayrack rides and everything! Be there or be square! :)
 
He might also own the place next door - number 668, the neighbour of the beast.

{OK, go for the the "beast" jokes...}
 
c4ts said:
Naturally Beast 666 of the Apocalypse has one home that lies untold fathoms beneath the sea, and a beach house in Miami.
Click to expand...

Are you referring perhaps to televangelist Robert Tilton? I think he lives down there these days in his multi-million mansion.

His claim to fame was that he solicited $$$ and promised to pray over some "prayer cloth" that the donors sent with their checks. But the prayer cloths were found in trash bins in Oklahoma (where the checks were cashed). Tilton lived and broadcasted from Dallas. After being exposed, he retired to a quiet life of service... to the DEVIL!
 
Zep said:
He might also own the place next door - number 668, the neighbour of the beast.

{OK, go for the the "beast" jokes...}
Click to expand...
since you insist....
  • DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the beast
  • 0.666 - Number of the millibeast
  • 29A - Hexidecimal number of the beast
  • $665.95 - Retail price of the beast
  • Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the beast
  • 666k - Retirement plan of the beast
  • 1-800-666-6666 - Toll-free number of the beast
Click to expand...
 
I own a copy of "National Sunday Law." It's so awesome. I'm reading it and thinking, "okay, yeah, evil pope, got it . . . un huh, so the Catholic church is false, uh huh, pope evil, very good there, yes, um . . . is there anything in here other than that the pope is bad?"

To which my friend after flipping through it was like, "looks like your kind of book."
 
Nah, you can escape the laundromat, IF you are willing to abandon your clothes.
 
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