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Money for old rope

andycal

Critical Thinker
Joined
Aug 3, 2001
Messages
382
I can barely stop laughing enough to type this... Under a heading in our local paper of "Woman Studies Souls", we find this:

An academic is set to embark on a year-long period of soul-searching after being given funding to research the human spirit.

Melody Stokes, a research fellow at De Montfort University in Leicester has been awarded £27,250 to investigate one of the great mysteries of life - how souls work.

There's a bunch more about her background and then an absolute killer:

She says she became determined to explain the spirit inside the body to understand the behaviour of her son, who was struggling at school, and believes people are similar to cars.

I need a new pair of undies.

It's true too (http://www.nesta.org.uk/ourawardees/profiles/4951/02_profile.html), although the car analogy is because she works at Lotus and not, presumably, because she pours Castrol GTX on her cornflakes in the morning.
 
She was given almost $50,00CDN because she wants to explain why her son sucks at school?
 
Dammit. I knew I was emphasizing the wrong things with my kids.

From now on it's nothing but:

What is this A doing here? Stop these good grades this instant, young man! From now on, it's bad marks and detention for your! That way lies financial security.
 
Reading between the lines, it seems as if she wants to put the whole world in order, just because she likes it that way. She wants explanations for everything so that her world will 'fit together' properly.

I feel sorry for her son. This woman is going to drive him mad when he's older - she'll be forever on at him to fit into the 'perfect' mould that she's created. She's already admitted that she's not happy with his schoolwork...it's just a matter of time before that boy collapses in a heap with a nervous breakdown, or goes of to 'find himself' and never returns.

I despair, I really do.

I bet she's Adolf Hitler in knickers. And now she wants public money to resolve her own world order.

Patsy.
 
Melody’s ultimate hope is to produce a model of human behavioural patterns which will help us to really understand the way we are.
What a wonderful, groundbreaking notion. Why did no-one ever think of doing that before! Of course, it was spotting the need that was the difficult part --- producing the theory will apparently only take a year. As her new science will be the study of the human psyche, perhaps we could call it "psychology". Oh, but there's already something called "psychology", isn't there? Maybe she'd better "look into" it:
I’m going to be looking into things like neuroscience, biochemistry, psychology, even quantum theory and the Big Bang. "
This is prudent. There might be something in those subjects she could learn from --- and after all, how hard can it be for a genius like her to learn neuroscience, biochemistry, psychology, quantum theory and cosmology? One hopes that this plucky lady has left enough room on her curriculum for sleep: but perhaps "looking into" a science is not so arduous as understanding it.

Her methodology is equally groundbreaking. She's going to keep a diary.
Over the year of her award, she’ll record in detail her own moods, thoughts and state of health, comparing them to an array of external factors: everything from diet and circadian rhythms, to solar patterns and the phases of the moon.
If only someone had thought of doing that sooner, the mysteries of human existence would have been cleared up a long time ago.

Even with this powerful new methodology, you might think that the human mind was so complex that it would take thousands of people centuries to even begin grasping at the rudiments of the subject. But people are like cars, and our heroine understands cars. Moreover, she has an exceptional talent.
'In trying to model the energy used in each home, strange patterns emerge... Lighting demand profiles gets busier in the early hours in Winter compared to Summer. Underlying the demand for electricity are the patterns of human thoughts and feelings. And that simply is my exceptional talent. '
How many of us would have had the exceptional talent, be honest, or the insight into "human thought" to spot the "strange pattern" that people use more electric lighting when it's dark?

Excuse me while my dog laughs.
:dl:
_________________________________

Songstress --- we'd all like to understand people a bit better. To try to do so is a laudable goal, not a sign of incipient fascism. What's stupid is that she thinks she's going to succeed. She's like a child looking at the Atlantic and shouting: "Watch me jump this puddle!"
 
I want a grant to investigate the mystery of where the money comes from to provide grants to research silly things.
 
Jas said:
She was given almost $50,00CDN because she wants to explain why her son sucks at school?
It sounds like she's trying to redirect the blame for this on anything or anyone rather than herself. To quote:

"While working for her PhD on patterns of electricity demand, she received a call from her son’s school teacher, concerned about his unpredictable behaviour in the classroom."

Pretty remarkable she didn's spot that pattern considering she claims that it "..simply is my exceptional talent. Spotting patterns and holding models in my head."

PuLEASE. What sort of research is required to recognise that in britain, "Lighting demand profiles gets busier in the early hours in Winter compared to Summer." Nothing to do with the fact that it gets lighter earlier in summer than it does in winter?

This is nearly as dense as the woman I met while living in Darwin, Australia, who had been given a grant to investigate (and I kid you not) the theory that people in the tropics sweated more than people in temperate regions in order to regulate their temperature. Admittedly it was only Aussie dollars, but it WAS $10,000 worth (for relative interpretations of worth).
 
It's all quite incredible.

She reckons she can work out everything about personality because she is an engineer and "Cars are like people - no two are alike".

And as an engineer, why is she using the term energy so randomly and incorrectly?

What a stupid, stupid woman, and what a stupd, stupid organisation Nesta is for funding people like this.

It's made me feel sad and I just don't really have any more comments on the subject.

(Her stupid project stupid website )
 
I do hope you ain't implying there's a connection between a boy behaving badly and his mother being busy doing a PhD?

How quaintly reactionary.
:D
 
...and she didn't even spot that her son was doing badly at school.....if she can't spot that, what chance has she of focusing on human behaviour in others? And she has the ***** cheek to publicise it!

Barking!


Patsy.
 
OK guys, this is fantastic. I actually wrote the Nesta and asked them what the hell their panel were thinking. And I got a reply!!!

They forwarded my email to the woman in question, here's what she says. I'll just post a bit at a time, she decided to write a novel...

With regards to the quote on lighting demand. On the 21st June, in the Midlands, the sun sets at around 21:31 BST and rises at around 04:43. In between that time (within an hour of sunrise and sunset) it is completely dark. There is no light energy from the sun. On the 21st December, the sun sets at 15:54 GMT and rises at 08:13. In between these times it is also dark, since there is no sunlight. The darkness is the same winter and summer; it is not ‘darker’ at night when there’s no sun in winter compared to summer. Then why is electricity demand (a value averaged over each half-hour in kW) greater in the winter during the hours of 22:31 to 03:43 compared to the summer?

Lighting demand usually reflects greater activity in the home. So if the demand is higher during these hours in winter compared to summer, people are probably more active at night in the winter. Why?

Wow. How difficult could this be? In Meoldy's world the only things that use energy are lightbulbs. Amazing.

The lighting demand is one small element of my research. The NESTA project is about finding what actually happens when we think, feel or behave in certain ways. Why am I interested? My son gets very angry – probably more angry than most young boys. So I wanted to know what anger is. What goes on in my son’s head when he gets angry and what can I do to help? Being a practical sort of person, an engineer, I like to understand how things work and I wasn’t daunted about trying to figure out how human minds and bodies operated. I thought I’d find an answer.

Sheesh... Still banging on about her son. However, the real stinky BS starts here:

Within the published scientific literature, no one seems able to tell me how I think or especially how I feel. Neuroscientists know which parts of the brains light up for certain stimuli. Psychologists rigorously examine how people behave but rarely the detail of why they behave as they do.

Even fewer scientists seem to know how diet, weather, seasons, etc. etc. affect us (there’s a few anecdotal pieces of ‘evidence’ about behaviour and additives – no actual ‘proper scientific research’). My son’s cricket coach knows that his young team acts daft when it’s windy. Why? I know my son gets angrier in the winter months. Why?

No one can explain why exactly I laugh, cry, sneeze, yawn, etc, etc ,etc. Even renowned experts (take Rose, Penrose, Dawkins, Pinker to name but a few) say things like “maybe we’ll never know”.

Take a look at the work reported on the New Scientist webpage and you’ll find that many very interesting articles end with ‘and the researchers don’t know why this is’. Sorry, but that’s not good enough for me. Why are problems like cancer, obesity, diabetes, asthma, autism and anger seemingly getting worse. And worse not just here (where you could blame it all on lifestyle) but in most parts of the World, including places like Polynesia, where, as far as I know, they don’t yet have a MacDonalds or turkey twizzlers.

Blimey!! Just what *HAVE* these scientists been doing all these years??!!

Anyway, that's enough for now. I know there are some psychologists and the like on this board so if any of you are affronted by this woman, I'd welcome your comments. I will of course forward any messages you have to here.
 
Originally posted by Melody
Take a look at the work reported on the New Scientist webpage and you’ll find that many very interesting articles end with ‘and the researchers don’t know why this is’. Sorry, but that’s not good enough for me

"That's not good enough for me?"

We really need a "raised eyebrow" smiley on this forum.


Edited to add:
(Her stupid project stupid website )

Whoa! That's a scary picture :eek:
 
Psychologists rigorously examine how people behave but rarely the detail of why they behave as they do.
That would be cognitive psychology.
Even fewer scientists seem to know how diet, weather, seasons, etc. etc. affect us (there’s a few anecdotal pieces of ‘evidence’ about behaviour and additives – no actual ‘proper scientific research’
There's lots.
No one can explain why exactly I laugh, cry, sneeze, yawn, etc, etc ,etc.
This is not true either. She doesn't know why she sneezes? She a flippin' genius, she should have figured it out by now..
Why are problems like cancer, obesity, diabetes, asthma, autism and anger seemingly getting worse.
This is known.
And worse not just here (where you could blame it all on lifestyle) but in most parts of the World, including places like Polynesia, where, as far as I know, they don’t yet have a MacDonalds or turkey twizzlers.
Problems of diabetes and obesity in Polynesia are in fact due to a Westernised fatty sugary diet, as she could have found out by taking the slightest bit of interest in the question.

What scientists have found out by painstaking research, she could have found out by... opening a book. But she would prefer to remain ignorant --- so that she can fantasise that scientists are as ignorant as she is.
 
Zep said:

It's difficult to argue, though, that encouraging and funding innovation, invention and creativity is a bad thing. Of course one can find lots of individual grants made by NESTA to fund palpable rubbish, but for every one of those there is one funding the development of an tiny pump, which can be worn on the skin like a plaster, to deliver insulin to diabetics.

On balance, I have to say I am in favour.
 
So I spent an arduous five minutes looking up about the Polynesian diet using Google.

The World Health Organisation: Globalization, diet and health : Globalization has also had profound consequences on health, as can be seen by the rising rates of noncommunicable diseases (NCDs) throughout the Pacific (16–18) and in much of the developing world. Imported high fat-content meats, especially corned beef, mutton flaps, and chicken parts and dense simple carbohydrates, such as refined sugar and flour, are among the main causes of the rising rates (17, 19– 21).

The Indigenous Action Network : Early traders, whalers, and missionaries in the Pacific brought with them other, apparently more benign, elements of their civilizations: ship's biscuits, flour, salt and sugar, corned beef, and alcohol. What was once just a trickle of these commodities has become a flood since World War II. The decades since the war have been characterized by sweeping social change in virtually every aspect of life. And, once again, new diseases have begun to take hold - this time the diseases of modernization...

Poor dietary balance is perhaps the most striking of these factors in the Pacific, where there is an ongoing transition from a high-fiber, low-animal-fat diet based on root crops, fresh fish, green leaves, and coconut to one based on white flour or rice, tinned meat and fish, and large quantities of sugar and salt. In Fiji the proportion of total energy derived from imported food has been steadily increasing; in 1977 it was already 43 percent nationwide, and by 1981 it had risen to 63 percent.

One of the most dramatic and well-documented changes in disease pattern has been the increase in diabetes, primarily in Polynesia and Micronesia, but also in Fiji, where 20 percent of hospital beds are occupied by people suffering from diabetes-related illness. Rates of diabetes are particularly high among the Indo-Fijian population. Although it is thought that heredity factors play a part, changes in diet, reductions in physical activity, and rising stress levels have allowed the disorder to increase manifold in recent decades.

Dr Salei’a Afele-Fa’amuli : Similar to the health status of inhabitants of other developed countries and continents, the overall health of Polynesians has changed drastically with modernization, change, and the introduction of imported and fast foods. For instance, recent research suggests that Samoans in American Samoa are among the most obese in the world. Further, Samoans in Hawaii and west coast United States primarily are overweight and obese. Generally, all of the Polynesian islands—including Hawaii, Tonga, Tahiti, Fiji, non-U.S. Samoa, American Samoa, and New Zealand—have growing obesity problems and other related non-communicable diseases such as cancer, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, diabetes, renal disease and gout. Obesity is further accelerated enhanced by the change in lifestyle from intensive physical labor to minimal physical activity and sedentary desk jobs. The overall diet in the Pacific islands has gone from wholesome to refined: daily complex carbohydrates to simple and refined carbohydrates of unenriched bread and rice; fish to daily fatty meats such as lamp flaps, pig’s feet, pork, turkey tails, beef and corned beef. Sweet carbonated beverages are readily available and preferred over spring water.
___________________

I'm glad I didn't have to keep a diary of my moods and the phases of the moon for a year to find that out, because apart from taking thousands of times longer, it might not have worked. Also, I'm not a self-absorbed narcissist with grandiose delusions.
 

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