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Loch Ness monster disappearance explained!

Abdul Alhazred

Philosopher
Joined
Sep 4, 2003
Messages
6,023
Veteran Loch Ness Monster Hunter Gives Up
Daily Record (UK)

LEGENDARY Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years.

The 85-year-old American will make one last trip in a bid to find the elusive beast.

After almost four decades of fruitless expeditions, he admitted: "Unfortunately, I'm running out of age."

World War II veteran Robert has devoted almost half his life to scouring Loch Ness.

He started in 1971. The following year, he watched a 25ft-long hump with the texture of elephant skin gliding through the water.

...

Since then, he has been obsessed with tracking down the creature with a staggering array of hi-tech equipment. It was this gear that took the famous "flipper" picture that year which created a stir around the world.

...

So the man has some serious credibility when it comes to Loch-Ness-monster-ology. Right?

...

Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.

...

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The only way this story could get better is to add this: "and global warming is happening because of CIA weather control devices used to destroy USSR grain harvests, and we are going to hunt for those devices!"
 
Nessie is fine and [echo on]I predict will make an appearance on the BBC news website in the month of April or May this year[echo off].

Around the time folk are booking holidays.

Pure coincidence of course.
 
No doubt that global warming will affect Bigfoot as well. I suspect he will wander ever closer to the beaches of the Pacific Northwest in order to cool off in the water. Just in case he makes it to Hawaii, I plan to stake out a beach on Maui. We all have to do our part.
 
At TAM5.5 they asked the speakers what woo belief they used to hold.

I was a real Loch Ness monster believer. Especially after the sonar photographs!

Then I went to Loch Ness and went, "ummm, you know someone would have noticed..."
 
At TAM5.5 they asked the speakers what woo belief they used to hold.

I was a real Loch Ness monster believer. Especially after the sonar photographs!

Then I went to Loch Ness and went, "ummm, you know someone would have noticed..."

Perhaps Nessie was on vacation when you were there.

nessiebrooklynko7.jpg
 
At TAM5.5 they asked the speakers what woo belief they used to hold.

I was a real Loch Ness monster believer. Especially after the sonar photographs!

Then I went to Loch Ness and...

...and that is all that matters.

Thank you for your custom. Please feel free to call again soon.
 
Does this mean that Champ is gone, too? What about Raystown Ray? Aw, c'mon!
 

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