• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

I've discovered a loophole!

jlakbj

Thinker
J
Joined
Nov 22, 2002
Messages
157
My fiance and I were kidding around about heaven the other day. She's a good Episcopalian, so she's going. I'm pretty sure I'm not. She laughingly told me she would miss me.

Then I realized a wonderful thing - she loves me so much that it won't be heaven for her if I'm not there! So in order her to go to heaven, I'm required to come along. What a lucky break! Imagine if I'd fallen in love with another atheist - or even someone whose religion is wrong? We'd both be doomed for eternity... boy, I feel kind of bad for all of you who haven't had my good fortune.

I don't feel that bad though... I'm riding Kristen's coattails into Paradise! See you on the flip side, suckers!

Yes, I realize this is not the only logical conclusion to draw here, but the alternative is rather depressing to think about. :)
 
I hope your girlfriend doesn't find out you're making fun of her like this.
 
Maybe jebus will just make her a perfect similic...simulicr...copy of you for her while you burn, burn, burn.
 
That's right! An exact copy - except for a german accent (ala Simpsons) :)
 
jlakbj said:
My fiance and I were kidding around about heaven the other day. She's a good Episcopalian, so she's going. I'm pretty sure I'm not. She laughingly told me she would miss me.

Then I realized a wonderful thing - she loves me so much that it won't be heaven for her if I'm not there! So in order her to go to heaven, I'm required to come along. What a lucky break! Imagine if I'd fallen in love with another atheist - or even someone whose religion is wrong? We'd both be doomed for eternity... boy, I feel kind of bad for all of you who haven't had my good fortune.

I don't feel that bad though... I'm riding Kristen's coattails into Paradise! See you on the flip side, suckers!

Yes, I realize this is not the only logical conclusion to draw here, but the alternative is rather depressing to think about. :)
Click to expand...

Hate to rain on your parade but aren't Episcopalians on the shiite list right along with the catholics,the muslims, and the gays.

I think unless she's "born-again"----you're screwed..........
 
Not only that, but poligamy is legal in heaven!

While divorce and re-marrying are sacramental no-no's, marrying anew once your spouse has kicked the bucket is OK in jebus' eyes. Heaven just wouldn't be the same without your spouse(s), now would it?

The mormons must have a field day with this argument.
 
Re: Re: I've discovered a loophole!

Ralph said:


Hate to rain on your parade but aren't Episcopalians on the shiite list right along with the catholics,the muslims, and the gays.

I think unless she's "born-again"----you're screwed..........
Click to expand...


darn, my girlfriend's catholic (non-practicing of course)...I guess I'm screwed also :p
 
And hey if her religion is the wrong one you guys can burn in hell together. So technically you win either way. :bgrin:
 
Yep, don't worry, you're definitely both off to the same place:

2 Corinthians 6:14 - "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

For if thou disobeyeth Paul, thou shalt be cast to the most unpleasant bit of Hell.

Just hope it freezes over before you get there.

hell-freezes.jpg
 
Of course, the angels or gods or jesus or hercules or whoever can just edit you out of her memory, so she's never bothered by thoughts about your roasting butt.
 
Well...

That just illustrates one of the many fundamental issues with any concept of heaven anyone can concieve of. How you could be a good hearted, loving Christian (if we are to assume that is what Christians are) and be able to enjoy your heavenly paradise while a huge portion of mankind - billions of decent, but misguided or uninformed non-Christians - are suffering hellish, incomprehensible torment for all of eternity? I'll be honest, I used to be neutral about religion, but, frankly, I don't see anything good in any of it. How can basing your life on a lie be a good thing? I despise religion and all non-rational belief systems - including non-rational political belief systems. I think they are the source of most of the suffering that has occured in the world.
 
A good Christian is supposed to <s>assimilate</s> convert them all.
 
I intend to balance my sins so very carefully that i end up on the boarder of one of the circles of hell. There, nearby another circle, I can use the heat differential between the two different zones to power an air conditioner and computer with internet acess so that I can surf the web in perfect comfort into eternity.
 
bozothedeathmachine said:
Not only that, but poligamy is legal in heaven!
Click to expand...

Luke 20:27-40:
27 Some of the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Jesus with a question.
28 Teacher, they said, Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother.
29 Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless.
30 The second
31 and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children.
32 Finally, the woman died too.
33 Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?
34 Jesus replied, The people of this age marry and are given in marriage.
35 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage,
36 and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection.
37 But in the account of the bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord 'the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'.
38 He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.
39 Some of the teachers of the law responded, Well said, teacher!
40 And no-one dared to ask him any more questions.
Click to expand...
 
religious freaks just make up their own rules as they go along, as if you can get into heaven just because you love her. What if she burns in hell!:hit: :bgrin:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom