It's been a tough year for me, and anxiety and depression have made things worse. Against my better judgement I visited a hypnotherapist. My first appointment was a free session where I was allowed to talk at great length about my problems, and the therapist listened and he nodded and offered the occasional bit of sympathy. Then he summed up my problems and said lots of things that I wanted to hear - telling me how nice I am, what a great sense of humour I have, how badly I've been treated etc. He said I'd need about 4 sessions but if I bought and read a recommended book (cost: £10), that would save me two sessions with him. I agreed to return a week later for a proper hour-long session (cost: £50)
And so I did. The guy explained in very fine detail what he was going to do and how he was going to do it. He put me at ease and told me that many rich and famous people travel 300 miles to see him ("not that I mean to brag of course", he added), and that 5 or 6 sessions would probably be right for me, despite the fact that I had bought and read his recommended book.
The hypno bit was fine... I relaxed and daydreamed while the therapist read from a script (easy money or what?) and soft plinky-plonky sounds played in the background. It actually made me feel quite good... it would have been easy to resist and giggle at the absurdity of it, but as I was paying good money I decided to give it a proper go, and quite enjoyed it.
I was forewarned that time would fly by whilst in the hypnotic state, and that I would be suprised by how quickly it would seem to be over. After the session he asked me how long I thought I was under; I said I thought about 20 minutes. "Ah", he said, "it was actually 30....35 minutes", proving that I had mysteriously lost time whilst in the hypnotic state.
However, the session was recorded and I was given a tape so that I could use it for relaxation at home. When I got home I checked the tape and timed how long I was hypnotised for. The entire recording only lasts 25 minutes, and taking off the time spent doing relaxation exercises and being counted down into my 'deep sleep', and time spent chatting afterwards, at most I could only have been under for about 20 minutes.
It's such a shame he had to bulls*** me, because the relaxation aspect of his session seemed to be working. Now I know he's a bulls***ter, I've no desire to return to him and line his pockets with my hard-earned.
I should have guessed earlier though; his parting words are always "May the Universal Force be with you".
Damn it, Obi-wan Kinobe, I was had.
And so I did. The guy explained in very fine detail what he was going to do and how he was going to do it. He put me at ease and told me that many rich and famous people travel 300 miles to see him ("not that I mean to brag of course", he added), and that 5 or 6 sessions would probably be right for me, despite the fact that I had bought and read his recommended book.
The hypno bit was fine... I relaxed and daydreamed while the therapist read from a script (easy money or what?) and soft plinky-plonky sounds played in the background. It actually made me feel quite good... it would have been easy to resist and giggle at the absurdity of it, but as I was paying good money I decided to give it a proper go, and quite enjoyed it.
I was forewarned that time would fly by whilst in the hypnotic state, and that I would be suprised by how quickly it would seem to be over. After the session he asked me how long I thought I was under; I said I thought about 20 minutes. "Ah", he said, "it was actually 30....35 minutes", proving that I had mysteriously lost time whilst in the hypnotic state.
However, the session was recorded and I was given a tape so that I could use it for relaxation at home. When I got home I checked the tape and timed how long I was hypnotised for. The entire recording only lasts 25 minutes, and taking off the time spent doing relaxation exercises and being counted down into my 'deep sleep', and time spent chatting afterwards, at most I could only have been under for about 20 minutes.
It's such a shame he had to bulls*** me, because the relaxation aspect of his session seemed to be working. Now I know he's a bulls***ter, I've no desire to return to him and line his pockets with my hard-earned.
I should have guessed earlier though; his parting words are always "May the Universal Force be with you".
Damn it, Obi-wan Kinobe, I was had.
