Humourous Quotes...

[Aitch]

OK, came across the following quotations in the last couple of days and thought they were worth passing on (please don't disagree too loudly). As you can see, they refer to homeopathy; any have any other mainstream quotes that refer tangentially to that or other woo type subjects?

...To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.

(talking about plans to get more women to drink beer by serving it in third of a pint glasses)
That is not a drink! That is homeopathy.

I've put this thread in this forum as one of the quotes is from a respected play-wright. If the mods disagree...

 

[theprestige]

Well, these aren't really about woo topics, but I do find them hilarious:

You cannot go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. Oh, I'm not joking.

That's right: he's not joking.

I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.

Talking about Barack Obama.

When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened,'

The market crashed in 1929. Hoover was president. Television was still a decade away.

Pure comedy gold.

 

[shadron]

“I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.”

-Robert T Bakker, ordained Pentecostal preacher and Harvard paleontologist
author of Dinosaur Heresies and Raptor Red.

(Don't think it touches on woo, unless you think the IRS is in that category. It's just humorous.)

 

[shadron]

When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened,'

The market crashed in 1929. Hoover was president. Television was still a decade away.

Pure comedy gold.

That's also called missing the point.

Fireside Chats^WP

 

[IMST]

How do you feel about your team's execution

I'm in favor of it.

John MacKay could always be counted on for lines like that. This one was from the first year of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

 

[tomwaits]

That's also called missing the point.

Fireside Chats^WP

Yes, we knew what he was talking about. Still funny.

 

[six7s]

IMST's post reminded me of this:

Reporter:

Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilisation?​

Gandhi:

I think it would be a good idea.​

 

[jhunter1163]

First 19th-century politician: Today I should like to talk about the economy.

Second 19th-century politician: Tell them all you know. It won't take long.

First 19th-century politician: I'll tell them all we both know. It won't take any longer.

And I always liked this one from John McKay:

"If you're not fired with enthusiasm, you'll be fired with enthusiasm."

 

[Jungle Jim]

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
Bishop Fulton Sheen.

 

[theprestige]

"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money."
- Margaret Thatcher

 

[Fnord]

"Modern education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading on the Internet from what is not." -- Me (With acknowledgment to G. M. Trevelyan)

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." -- Mark Twain

"When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all." -- Paul Simon ("Kodachrome")

 

[paiute]

Originally Posted by Linda Smith on the News Quiz
(talking about plans to get more women to drink beer by serving it in third of a pint glasses)
"That is not a drink! That is homeopathy."


Wouldn't the beer have to be diluted for that joke to work?

 

[Twiler]

“Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.” - John Maynard Keynes

 

[theprestige]

Originally Posted by Linda Smith on the News Quiz
(talking about plans to get more women to drink beer by serving it in third of a pint glasses)
"That is not a drink! That is homeopathy."


Wouldn't the beer have to be diluted for that joke to work?

You misunderstand: Anything less than a pint of beer is already unacceptably diluted. Just as the homeopathic ingredient is not present in enough quantity to do any good, so too beer in a 1/3 pint glass is not present in enough quantity to do any good.