Help Write the TAM4 Monolog

[Brown]

Here's the premise. When James Randi welcomes everyone to TAM4, he gives a monolog. The monolog mentions the guests (but not necessarily all of them) and makes a few humorous remarks about them.

Let's all be humorists and submit remarks that might be suitable for a Randi monolog.

If Randi were talking about the Mythbusters, for example, he might quip:

We have the Mythbusters! Yes, we’ve got both the smart one and the good-looking one!

When he was mentioning Penn and Teller, he might say:

We're pleased to have once again Penn Jillette and … um … the other one, um … help me out, what’s the name of the short one who doesn’t have very much hair but who’s really cute and doesn’t say anything? Oh, of course, MOXIE!

The remarks have to be light and suitable for all audiences.

Feel free to submit humorous remarks about guests even if others have already submitted jokes about them. You may also free to submit jokes about the hotel or Vegas or TAM4 in general.

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

"Hi, I'm James Randi. Welcome to TAM IV! I just flew in from Florida, and boy are my arms tired!"

I demand that he uses my joke.

 

[kittynh]

Here we have Phil Plaitt, the bad astronomer. Maybe next year we can get a good astronomer. (and I spelled Phil's name wrong again).

 

[Chupacabras]

... And altough she (he) woulnd't attend, we are informed that someone in the audience is representing Sylvia Browne (Uri Geller). You know who you are, thanks for being here !

 

[vbloke]

I'm getting a message here... I'm hearing the letters T, A and M. They seem to be close to the number 4. Do these letters mean anything to anybody?

 

[Brown]

Once again, we have Christopher Hitchens as a guest speaker. As those of you who attended last year's meeting will recall, the stage lights kept turning on and off during Christopher's speech. We were later told by hotel personnel that the lights' breakers would trip whenever there was too much hot air. I guess you can draw your own conclusions.

Nadine Strossen is here. She is one of the leading speakers in favor of genocide, racism, destruction of Christianity, infanticide, and the ruin of America.... What? .... She isn't? .... Really? Well!! I'm sorry, Ms. Strossen, but I thought that this information was correct. After all, I got it from someone who would never ever lie, the Reverend Jerry Falwell....