God's Family Values

Mephisto

Philosopher
Mephisto
Joined
Apr 10, 2005
Messages
6,064
We've all heard fundies say that family values have disappeared in the world (and especially America), but where do they get their family value gauge? The Bible of course!

Seems they've never really read the Bible beyond the "safe passages" given them in Bible study, otherwise they might see that family values have actually taken a turn for the better.

Just what kind of family values does God promote in the Bible? Here are a few examples:

Captain Noah of the arc fame got drunk on wine and passes out with his genitals exposed. His son, Ham (great name, huh?) walks in and sees Daddy's testicles. Noah awakens, finds out that Ham saw his wee wee and punishes Ham by making Ham's youngest son a slave. Genesis 11:1-9

Remember Sodom and Gomorrah? Evil cities both, right? Well after fleeing the destruction of Sodom, Lot and his two virgin daughters live in a cave. The daughters are a little worried that they'll never find husbands and have children so they get Dad drunk and have sex with him. Genesis 19:30-36

The one instance in the Bible when a Daddy become a mummy; Joseph turns his dead father into a mummy. Genesis 50:1-3

God is all his wisdom forbids men from marrying sisters unless one of them is dead. Leviticus 10:1-2

God loves the idea of starving sinners eating their own children. "Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion . . . he will not give to them the flesh of his children that he is eating. Deuteronomy 28:53-57

King David breaks the 7th commandment by having sex with Bathsheba, the wife of one of his subject. To cover his tracks, he sends Bathsheba's husband to the front lines in the latest war where he is killed. God is angry so he kills David and Bathsheba's baby. God loves the little children . . . II Samuel 11:2-4, 14-27, 12:9-19

Here are some Biblical excuses for assault and child abuse;

"Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being." Proverbs 20:30

"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15

"Do not withhold discipline from a child . . . Punish him with the rod, and save his soul from death." Proverbs 23:13

"A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools." Proverbs 26:3

Ever hear the saying, "Money is the root of all evil?" Well, not in the Bible . . . "A feast is made for laughter and wine makes life merry, but money is the answer for everything." Ecclesiastes 9:7-9

Now, the next time a fundie says they believe in family values, ask them how often they expose their genitalia to enslave their grandchildren, or how many times they've had sex with their daughters. It's family values, God-style!

Mephisto
 
Oh, heavens yes. You oughta read this stuff!

lesse..back to the story of Lot, whom Moses is quoted as saying is the 'holiest of men'. When the angels visit him in Sodom, the townsfolk knock on his door wanting to talk with them. He offers the mob his two virgin daughters to do with as they will if they will just leave him alone! Sorry I don't have the chapter:verse, but it's right there in Genesis.

Psalm 137
"Blessed are they that dash the little one's heads against the rocks"

There are plenty, plenty more. I'll have to do some looking.
 
GOOD SITE!

I feel the sudden need to use the 'Bookmark' feature on my browser....

Thank you, arthwollipot.
 
There's plenty more where that came from

Tony said:
Anymore?
Click to expand...

YEP! See more in my upcoming string about God's wackiness, vindictiveness and insanity. ;)

Mephisto
 
Re: There's plenty more where that came from

Mephisto said:
YEP! See more in my upcoming string about God's wackiness, vindictiveness and insanity. ;)

Mephisto
Click to expand...

Great post, Mephisto. Perhaps you can focus on some New Testament stuff, too. There's plenty there..

For example, along the "God loves children" theme, let's not forget that children died a lot during Biblical times. Remember the slaying of all the first born in Egypt from the Old Testament and then there was the slaying of every male child under the age of 2 in the New Testament.

There was a great letter on the Internet, some years ago, that was supposedly sent to Dr. Laura that parodied the teachings of the Bible. Has everyone seen this?

Letter to Dr Laura on God's Law
 
[fundie speak on ]That's the old God, don'cha know.. He's changed his ways since then.. You have to take all those events in their socio-historic context. Genocide and child abuse was not frowned upon back then, like it is now. [/off]


But wait! Haven't I heard somewhere that God never changes?

" Well, what seems like change to us, is not necessarily a change in God. We cannot understand God.. "


Hmmm.. If I can't understand him, why should I believe in him ?


" Because you will burn in hell if you don't. "


Oh. That I can understand. Now I really see that God loves me. :rolleyes:
 
I think they wanted more than just talk!

clarsct said:
Oh, heavens yes. You oughta read this stuff!

lesse..back to the story of Lot, whom Moses is quoted as saying is the 'holiest of men'. When the angels visit him in Sodom, the townsfolk knock on his door wanting to talk with them.
Click to expand...

If you'll look again, I'm pretty sure those townsmen wanted to have SEX with those angels. Funny how Lot didn't think twice about offering up his virgin daughters in defense of spiritual beings with (supposedly) enough powers to defend themselves.

Sex, Sex, Sex, that's all you hear in the Bible! Guess it's because they didn't have television back then.

Mephisto
 
Re: Re: There's plenty more where that came from

Ladyhawk said:
Great post, Mephisto. Perhaps you can focus on some New Testament stuff, too. There's plenty there..[/URL]
Click to expand...

Thank you, Ladyhawk! I'm glad you enjoyed that.

I had intended to post some focus on the New Testament, but I was actually waiting for a fundie to admonish me for using the "old stuff."

After all, everyone knows that God changed his tune after Jesus came along. Being a single father can sure change your viewpoints.

BTW, I see you're a fan of Bill Mahr. Me too. His show is the ONLY reason I keep HBO (the rest of the programming is so bad, I'm just waiting for them to start running, "Smokey and the Bandit" again.

Mephisto
 
Whoa!

Diogenes said:
[fundie speak on ]That's the old God, don'cha know.. He's changed his ways since then.. You have to take all those events in their socio-historic context. Genocide and child abuse was not frowned upon back then, like it is now. [/off]


But wait! Haven't I heard somewhere that God never changes?

" Well, what seems like change to us, is not necessarily a change in God. We cannot understand God.. "


Hmmm.. If I can't understand him, why should I believe in him ?


" Because you will burn in hell if you don't. "


Oh. That I can understand. Now I really see that God loves me. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I think we were both cornered by the same guy! Either that, or the fundies carry a script that is distributed by the same source.

I love your answer to the last assertion. It reminds a lot of George Carlin's take on the whole thing. I'm not positive I'm quoting it accurately, "There is an invisible man that lives in the sky, and he want you to use the free will he gave you to do EXACTLY as he says or he'll toss you into a pit of fire where you'll suffer for all eternity . . . but he loves you."

Mephisto
 
Dr Adequate said:
Now there's a sig line going begging.
Click to expand...

I wonder what is their criteria for determining who is a fool and who is not? Seems to me that anyone accepting anything on blind faith would fit the bill, as would anyone believing that the Bible is actually the word of God.

Mephisto
 
ahhhh...... but the best(yeah) family values are in the book of revelation where all us sinners will die and the faithful believers dissapear mysteriously from earth and float into heaven. now one of the things christians say now is that greed is the ultimate sin of the seven deadly sins because it ties into all others (or something like that) but isn't worshipping a king (jesus) that will come back to slaughter billions of people with the sword from his mouth,a king (jesus) that said that the old testament was right on the mark (not a exact quote of course) which openly says that all homosexuals shall surely be stoned to death (a direct quote), it's okay to sell your daughters into slavery (because they are women and god made women inferior to men) kinda makes the king (jesus) look a lot like the weak minded people that are running this the united states. christians easily would sacrifice their dignity and unknowingly follow and believe in a dictator(god) to save their own butts (kinda reminds you of the greed of the followers of the u.s.s.r.) christians stupidly and unknowingly give into the gravest deadly sin (or so they say) greed to get into heaven.

what a bunch of hypocrites

:(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom