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Merged George Carlin

Bubba

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Years ago, George Carlin saw what was going on:

Here is how George Carlin put it:

..."Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls. They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every day lobbying. Lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want – they want more for themselves and less for everybody else.

But I’ll tell you what they don’t want – they don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking… They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly ◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊ jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your ****in’ retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? They’ll get it. They’ll get it all from you sooner or later ’cause they own this ****in’ place. It’s a big club and you ain’t in it. You and I are not in the big club…

The table is tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice… Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. They don’t give a **** about you. They don’t care about you at all! The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their ******** every day, because the owners of this country know the truth… It’s called the American Dream, ’cause you have to be asleep to believe it...."
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George Carlin liked hyperbole because it is funny.

What do you suggest?
 
George was a multimillionaire and yeah he use to make up stuff....
 
Bubba said:
Years ago, George Carlin saw what was going on:
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That was a good one. Here is another of his gems:

"The planet will be here for a long, long — LONG — time after we're gone, and it will heal itself; it will cleanse itself, because that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover; the earth will be renewed; and, if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the Earth plus plastic!
And I am sure the planet will defend itself in the manner of a large organism, like a beehive or an ant colony, and muster a defense. I am sure the planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet trying to defend against this pesky, troublesome species? "Let's see... What might... Hmm.. Viruses! Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction."
 
This is in the conspiracy theories section?

Anyways, right or wrong, George Carlin was awesome.
 
Bubba said:
Years ago, George Carlin saw what was going on:
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Agreed.

The Foole said:
* 21 People Killed in 21-gun Salute
* Welcome Wagon runs over Newcomer
* Good Humor Man slays 10
* Pen Pal stabs Pal with Pen
* Off-duty policeman shot by on-duty criminal
* Man with powersaw has been hit by falling tree

Police fired over the heads of rioters today, however they killed 200 people living on the second floor.

A milwaukee man has been arrested for attempting to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.

71 people suffered numerous gunshot wounds in the feet today as two armed midgets ran amuck in a downtown bar. Patrons of the tavern claim the two entered riding horsey-back, and the trouble started when the one on the bottom began to get drunk. In addition to the foot wounds, extensive damage to the baseboards and electrical outlets was also reported.

Here are the results of the latest gallup poll: it seems that 48 percent of the people were not home, 32 percent of the people made believe they weren't home, and 20 percent of the people have no front door.

A physician in florida claims he's treating a 107 year old woman who is pregnant! He claims that because of her advance age, she will have a grown-up.

A dog exploded on a busy downtown street corner today. Nobody was injured, however 20 people were overcome by fur. Police also estimate that somewhere between 100 and 150 fleas also lost their lives in the blast.

Out at the lake in city park today, police arrested a one-armed man who was annoying the other boaters by continuously rowing in a circle.

A man has barricaded himself inside of his house at the corner of Main and Butler, however he is not armed and nobody is paying any attention to him.

Tonights weather forecast: Dark. Continued mostly dark tonight, followed by widely scattered light in the morning.

The food and drug administration announced today that saliva causes stomach cancer. However, only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.

To kind of wind up the news today, a team of medical scientists announced that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim nobody has shown the slightest bit of interest in it.
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George knew. The world is a poorer place for his absence but much richer for his contribution.
 
His "angry man" schtick gold old rather quickly for me. But it was smart on his part because he saw that's how we were going......everyone's outraged! They may not know why but rest assured they'll find a reason. :rolleyes:
 
Spamming the forum trying to recruit people for the twoof cult. It's like Scientologists, look at all the celebrities we have! He wasn't one of you...
 
The routine that always sticks in my mind was when he said in 1999 that terrorists attacking the United States would be exciting and entertaining and since you personally weren't likely to be killed, you may as well sit back and enjoy the show.

Maybe if you're a sociopath with no ability to empathize with others...
 
Too bad the evil media owners never let George speak to the millions, he was forced to keep hit mouth shut, had to abandon his dream and died a poor man.

Oh wait... :rolleyes:
 
Armitage72 said:
The routine that always sticks in my mind was when he said in 1999 that terrorists attacking the United States would be exciting and entertaining and since you personally weren't likely to be killed, you may as well sit back and enjoy the show.

Maybe if you're a sociopath with no ability to empathize with others...
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I believe that was the point...
 
That particular bit was part of a rant about how people have gotten too soft and are too obsessed with being "safe" and he found the possibility of getting blown up while out shopping to be exciting.

http://george-carlin-scripts.blogspot.com/2011/10/you-are-all-diseased-script.html

The odds of you being killed by a terrorist are practically zero! So I say relax and enjoy the show. You have to be a realist; you have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people... certain groups – Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montana – are gonna continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time. That’s the reality; angry men in combat fatigues talking to God on a two-way radio and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom are eventually going to provide us with a great deal of entertainment, especially after your stupid *********** economy collapses all around you and the terrorists come out of the woodwork and you’ll have anthrax in your water supply, and saran gas in your air conditioner, there’ll be chemical and biological suitcase bombs in every city and I say “enjoy it, relax, enjoy the show, take a *********** chance, put a little fun in your life.” To me, terrorism is exciting, it’s exciting. I think the very idea that you could set off a bomb in a marketplace and kill several hundred people is exciting and stimulating and I see it as a form of entertainment! Entertainment... that’s all it is. Yeah... but I also know that most Americans are soft and frightened and unimaginative and they don’t realize there’s such a thing as dangerous fun. And they certainly don’t recognize a good show when they see one! I have always been willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment and I’ve always been willing to put you at great personal risk for the same reason.
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