Fun Facts; Dinosaurs and Noah

Dancing David

Penultimate Amazing
Dancing David
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I don't spend all my time on the JREF!

I found this great site!

Bible/World Time Line
Were dinosaurs on the Ark?
Yes. God told Noah to put representatives of every kind of land animal on the Ark. (Some dinosaurs were semiaquatic and could have survived outside the Ark.) But why put adult dinosaurs on the Ark? Young dinosaurs would take up less room, eat less, and be easier to manage. The purpose for having animals on board was so they could reproduce after the flood and repopulate the earth. Young dinosaurs would have more potential for reproduction than old dinosaurs.
Most, if not all, dinosaurs hatched from eggs. The largest dinosaur eggs ever found were a foot long. Hatchlings, even after a year of growth while on the Ark, would be quite easy to handle.
Possibly dinosaurs became very large, because they lived to great ages. Preflood humans could live for more than 900 years. If whatever caused man to live so long had the same effect on dinosaurs, they could have grown very large. Reptiles, unlike other animals, continue to grow throughout their lives. Perhaps large dinosaurs, which are similar to reptiles in many ways, were just old.
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Well, I scoffed at the idea of dinosaurs on the ark until

Mercutio showed us the pictures!

I'd like to hear someone argue with that. I sure know those pictures weren't in my science book.

It bothers me a little that science tried to keep this a secret. It's probably a conspiracy against religion.

Deep down I never believed the dinosaurs were all killed by a comet. I figured space aliens came and took them all to their home world for zoos and food and pets and stuff. Come to think of it - there were no pictures of that either in my science book!

I'm mad now! Why is science doing this? Who do we complain to?
 
Do we have to go through this again?!?

Dinosaur bones are produced by the EAC (Evil Atheist Conspiracy) in manufacturing facilities from Guam and the Philippenes. They are artificially aged, placed into the rock, then "discovered" later by "scientists". This is an elaborate plot to lead us astray from the manificant glory of God, and believe foolish things like "Evolution" and "Old Earth". Get real folks, dinosaurs are a lie, they arent written in the bible, that settles it.
 

Do Human Tracks Occur in the Kayenta of Arizona?

But what's the use? Sure the human footprints / dinosaurs stuff was discarded years ago. They are completely immune to any evidence that contradicts scripture.

A few years ago I ran across a statement of faith on a major fundamentalist site. To it's credit, it explained in clear and honest terms what a complete waste of time arguing with them is:

By definition, no apparent, perceived or claimed evidence in any field, including history and chronology, can be valid if it contradicts the Scriptural record.
http://www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/about/faith.asp
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Were dinosaurs clean or unclean beasts? I can just picture Noah trying to round up tyrannosaurs that got loose and started feasting on the bounty aboard the ark.
 
pupdog said:
Were dinosaurs clean or unclean beasts? I can just picture Noah trying to round up tyrannosaurs that got loose and started feasting on the bounty aboard the ark.
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Pupdog and everyone,

That "clean or unclean" issue troubles alot of discerning minds that don't know the true facts. You may know from my earlier post in this thread that I no longer trust that we can expect to answer your questions using reason and science. I have instead chosen to return to a more fundamental source of truth to separate the nuts from the chaff in all this. Hear me out and then decide for yourself, that's all I ask.

The so-called "unclean" animals were the last ones permitted aboard the ark. It had already begun to sprinkle God's holy destruction by then. Those animals were, in a sense, baptized into the cleanliness. Aboard the ark this was facilitated by Noah's family.

You see, contrary to the more popular notions, Noah only brought food aboard for his own family, trusting that God would provide for all their other needs. Indeed, the manna which provided the sustenance for all of the animals was known onboard as "oatmeal". It wasn't real oatmeal but it was a nutritious preparation of animal dung and rainwater. They called it oatmeal as kind of a goof on the animals. At that time animals weren't respected for their intelligence and people used their "dominion" over them in humorous ways.

Anyway, the oatmeal story is a true fact that is not widely known mostly because it came to me in a dream. If you wonder why the predators didn't eat the other animals it's because when they mixed up the oatmeal they squeezed a bit of chicken urine onto it so that overall, it tasted like chicken.

Right now, I sense that some of you think that I am making this up. It's true that I'd have trouble pointing to the exact Bible quote for you unbelievers. I merely ask that you listen here to my evidence for a moment and have a little faith for a change.

One of the upshots of eating this kind of diet is, as anyone who has tried it will attest, it makes you sleepy. Did I mention that this came to me in a dream?

Well, during the sleepy time, and this is also a little known true fact, Noah and his family members would go around and give sponge baths to the animals to keep them all "clean". Then, as kind of a diversion during the boring times, they would dress the animals in each other clothing. It was all meant to be in good fun but the women's clothing was often put on the pigs and hippos. The women weren't laughing but the men thought it was hilarious and, at that time, what the men believed was really all that mattered. And that part is still somewhat true today.

But we've come a long way. We no longer dress animals in women's clothing because that is insulting to them and transvestites too but in a different way. Furthermore it's clear that we still haven't shaken all vestiges of having humanity condensed down to a single family. Some of the jokes they played on one another weren't just unfunny they were downright cruel. Everyone was glad when the rain stopped but a few of them were giving some of the others some rather profane hand gestures when they left the ark.

After they disembarked, the brother everyone used to call "Buddy", was derisively referred to as Ham. No one wanted anything to do with him. He, of course, took the pigs and went to Africa, and in kind of a reverse Michael Jackson thing, turned himself black so no one would recognize him. There are many other stories and interpretations that arise from the legends of the ark but I'm sure if you engage in your own proper inquiry and diet, your purified mind will have it's own revelations of truth.

Til then, I hope this information has filled in some of the blanks for those of you who don't read the Bible or have my dreams. Feel free to ask questions. Questions are the way we find out how stupid we are. And I'm always glad to help in that regard.
 
pupdog said:
Were dinosaurs clean or unclean beasts? I can just picture Noah trying to round up tyrannosaurs that got loose and started feasting on the bounty aboard the ark.
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Sounds like a cool plot for a movie...Jurassic Ark!
 
I'd would just like to say I belive that the dinos where all alien life brought here by our plutonian creators, They where a giant race that bcame extinct at the end of the second mellinium, but when they came to earth to creat all of us as a genetic experiment they brought a snack(the dinos) and just didn't feel like cleaning up there mess, bones strewn everywhere (damn messy aliens) so there you have it end of disscussion.
 
Dancing David said:
Atlas, you have truely found the gold tablets that Joseph Smith found, and yours are much more funny.
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Thanks DD,

I probably owe "Smitty" alot. He's one of those who taught me just how easy it is to have revelations of truth from God.;)
 
Yeah ok thats funny.

I had this fleeting thought about a T-Rex looking down at his 'manna', and then glancing over to Noah's tasty looking family.

What faith on Noah's part! To enter the ark with such terrifying creatures. Surely a sermon in there somewhere.
 
OK, but what about smilodons, mastodons, giant sloths, dimetrodons, and mammalian reptiles?

I am aware that trilobites and ammonites died because the flood´s water was freshwater and since they lived on the sea, they could not stand the salinity changes.

Now, the question is: why Noah could not have some of these on a water bowl?
 
Originally posted by rdaneel:

That's it, I'm convinced. I've turned away from my Evil Atheist beliefs and found Jebus.
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No! No!

If the EAC has let you down (and it has let very man people down, then join us in the ECA! We welcome you with open arms.

The problem is that the EAC has grown soft and complacent. We at the ECA hold potlucks.
 
Garrette said:


No! No!

If the EAC has let you down (and it has let very man people down, then join us in the ECA! We welcome you with open arms.

The problem is that the EAC has grown soft and complacent. We at the ECA hold potlucks.
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What, may I ask, is the ECA?
 
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