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Fortune Cookie sayings

thaiboxerken

Penultimate Amazing
thaiboxerken
Joined
Sep 17, 2001
Messages
34,570
I just ate a fortune cookie, and it actually says something intelligent for a change.

"Where there is doubt, there is truth"....... in bed.

Anyone else get some good ones?
 
What philosophy is there in a fortune cookie? Fortune cookie-isms are just a bunch of good yet vague predictions people want to hear.
 
Well, that is not the case as much anymore. Fortune cookies contain bites of philosophy these days. Things like:

Where there is doubt, there is knowledge.
 
thaiboxerken said:
Well, that is not the case as much anymore. Fortune cookies contain bites of philosophy these days. Things like:

Where there is doubt, there is knowledge.
Click to expand...

Well, why don't you start a thread about that instead of fortune cookies?
 
What philosophy is there in a fortune cookie? Fortune cookie-isms are just a bunch of good yet vague predictions people want to hear.
Click to expand...

Well I had one that said "you will get food poisoning fom the sweet and sour chicken". It was niether vague or good, but it was accurate however.
 
I believe that horoscopes are far more efficient than fortune cookies. You can look up horoscopes for free, but you have to pay at some point to get fortune cookies. You also get a lot more bunk/dollar with a horoscope than with a cookie.

Seeing as their product could never hope to compete with horoscopes, the fortune cookie industry must have come up with the idea of putting even vauger garbage in their creations. Perhaps the semi-philosophical ramblings contained in today's cookies are an attempt to emulate some sort of esoteric Eastern Wisdom, the kind that sells so well these days.

In any case, I prefer the Onion's horoscopes to anything.
 
I don't recall what the promo was for, but some television show a while back had a funny vignette with two serious scientists in labcoats, sitting in a lab full of bubbling beakers, reading their fortune cookie slips to each other.

One said something vague like, "your wisdom will take you far". The other said something very specific like, "you are miserably unhappy and your life and finances are a mess". The second scientist says, "I think this one is yours", to which the other nonchalantly replies, "Oh....yeah", and they exchange slips.

It was a kick --- anyone remember what that was promoting?
 
They aren't all vague. My mom got one that said "stop smoking".

Unforunately she doesn't smoke. I wish it had gone to a believer that did.
 
uruk said:
Well I had one that said "you will get food poisoning fom the sweet and sour chicken". It was niether vague or good, but it was accurate however.
Click to expand...

Must have been one of those custom fortune cookies. I got one at my college which said "I am the little cookie of death!"
 
"Your emotional nature is strong and emotional."

Hilarious when you've just finished eating a buffet with five good friends. :D
 
After a dinner of lstening to my pal complain about his psycho ex wife he popped open a cookie which said, "All of your problems will soon pass away."

It was good for a giggle.
 
One of the best practical jokes I'd ever heard (and wish I'd seen) involved careful manipulation of fortune cookies to include fortunes that were very personal to the recipients. My cousin threw a party, and served Chinese food ordered from a local restaurant. He also obtained some fortune cookies, delicately removed their fortunes, and inserted some of his own. (Yes, he probably did it the hard way.)

After the meal, when each attendee opened his fortune cookie, s/he found a fortune that looked real, but hit very close to home. Some of the cookies included ribald suggestions, double-entendres and inside jokes that no one except the attendees would understand.

The first reaction was utter astonishment at how a fortune cookie could know so much about one's personal life! As people compared fortunes, they all realized that it was a con and they had a good laugh.
 
Penn and Teller's book "How to Play With Your Food" included some joke fortunes to substitute for real ones. "That lump is cancer" and "The chef spit in your food" were my favorites.

Although my all-time favorite fortune cookie fortune was one from the cartoon "Rocko's Modern Life". The loser character kept getting "Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity" in every cookie he opened.
 
I kept one from a year ago or so, it reads "Do not let your instincts run right over your reason." That's almost as ironic as the sign outside a church down the street from here that reads "Truth is not determined by how many people believe in it."
 
The Cats Venm said:
They aren't all vague. My mom got one that said "stop smoking".

Unfortunately she doesn't smoke. I wish it had gone to a believer that did.
Click to expand...

your mother should clearly start smoking, so that she can quit and thus fulfill the prophecy.
 
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