• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Facebook etiquette

The Drain

Master Poster
The Drain
Joined
Dec 12, 2005
Messages
2,555
I've just received a 'friend request' from my boss on Facebook. It's clear from her number of registered friends (4) that she is new to FB, but I feel strongly that this a breach of etiquette.

For example, I have not asked my work colleague whom I manage in a regional office in another part of the country to be my 'friend' on FB on the principle that outside our shared work she has her own life to live.

I don't want to accept my boss's 'friend request', but how do I get out of it - without offending her?

I'm currently at home on a few days of annual leave, so I have a few days (till next Tuesday) to think about it.

Suggestions welcome!
 
"My Facebook account is strictly for personal purposes. As a matter of choice I have decided not to mix the institutions of my personal and professional life to the degree of Facebookng my work colleauges."

Basically try to turn it down as you would a request to a dinner party, hanging out at the bar or a weekly Dungeons and Dragons game.
 
I also vote for the "ignore" button. She may eventually wonder what happened, but she won't be notified of your decision.

So many people express worry about FB. Some in my family, for example, use it with more worries than joy. They, I tell them, are not "free". They want to have a lot of friends and love the exposure, but then they want selective exposure, which is not a feature of the FB package.
 
I vote for being up front. You know your boss's personality better than we do, but waiting until you see her next and saying, "hey, I appreciated the friend request on FB, but I want to make sure that I maintain a competent, professional image."

Or something. Just ignoring it is kind of a wimp move.
 
I have been told you can organize your friends into different lists. So whatever you post, you can choose which lists can see it.

I haven't had a need for that until now, but I have reached a point where I have a certain number of my husband's family & friends who I just don't feel as free with as with my own friends. So I will have to get around to setting that up.
 
It depends on how good you are with your boss, I suppose. You can set very detailed privacy settings now based on groups (like someone else suggested), but unless you're close with your boss I'd just second or third the "ignore" suggestion.

For what it's worth, I have my boss on facebook and he's the one posting pics of his drunk adventures, so.
 
You goddamned kids and your livemyfacejounral. Get off my lawn.

/me goes back to posting on his account at FidoNet.
 
The Drain said:
I've just received a 'friend request' from my boss on Facebook. It's clear from her number of registered friends (4) that she is new to FB, but I feel strongly that this a breach of etiquette.

For example, I have not asked my work colleague whom I manage in a regional office in another part of the country to be my 'friend' on FB on the principle that outside our shared work she has her own life to live.

I don't want to accept my boss's 'friend request', but how do I get out of it - without offending her?

I'm currently at home on a few days of annual leave, so I have a few days (till next Tuesday) to think about it.

Suggestions welcome!
Click to expand...

Just don't click the confirm or ignore.
 
The Drain said:
I've just received a 'friend request' from my boss on Facebook. It's clear from her number of registered friends (4) that she is new to FB, but I feel strongly that this a breach of etiquette.

For example, I have not asked my work colleague whom I manage in a regional office in another part of the country to be my 'friend' on FB on the principle that outside our shared work she has her own life to live.

I don't want to accept my boss's 'friend request', but how do I get out of it - without offending her?

I'm currently at home on a few days of annual leave, so I have a few days (till next Tuesday) to think about it.

Suggestions welcome!
Click to expand...
You can create a separate FB account for work if that s practical for you.
I have one for work which I use to communicate with my clients.
 
How does your boss know that you are on Facebook? Perhaps you should not mention it to people who you don't want "friending" you.

A lot of people on Facebook seem to be just "into" collecting friends and little else except posting inane pictures and tidbits of meaningless information that can only be of interest to their closest of "real" friends. Facebook is mostly false intimacy with strangers pretending to be actual friends.
 
Steven Howard said:
Presumably she knows his name and what city he lives in. That's about all you need to find somebody on Facebook.
Click to expand...

Yet another reason not to use your real name on Facebook. Then you can only friend those that you invite and not have to worry about those you won't be interested in "friending" or finding you.
 
Thank you for all your suggestions.

There is a good reason for using my real name and that is it has allowed me to re-establish contact with people I used to know decades ago in faraway places, which would not have been possible otherwise. Same goes for distant cousins - both relatively and geographically.

I have been truly tempted by the votes to Ignore the request, but I think I'm going to have to get a grip of myself and go with Fallen Serpent and TraneWreck's proposal that I be upfront and honest. And tactful.

Having said that, Bobert's idea of a separate work FB identity is something I'm going to work on - and the other thing I didn't know (from Fishstick & Iknownothing) is that you can have different lists and levels of friends. That is definitely some good homework for me to do - thank you.
 
Last edited:
You can set up a Linkedin account and invite her there.

I have my struggles with social media, but I find that it is a good rule to keep private and work contacts separate.

having a specific account for each is the way to do that.
 
Is she hot?

Joking aside, it may be she's subtly trying to establish more than a work relationship, which may / may not be either wise or welcome. I think you should have a wee talk about this, especially if she's a newb.
Personally, I opened a FB account, took a long hard look and backed the hell out.
Just not for me.
 
Something nicely worded should take care of the problem--a message, "I appreciate the friend invite, but I prefer to avoid mixing work contacts into my facebook."

Heck, I've used that when deciding to remove someone from my friends list that got promoted from a (relative) peer to a manager in my department. Worked out fine.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom