Split Thread [Ed] Personal experiences with gays

[Quad4_72]

Split from Are most homosexuals atheists?

Posted By: arthwollipot

So there are limits then? Half blown ok?

Full blown, meaning openly gay and acting extremely feminine. Though Iraqis act feminine as it is. Half blown as you would say would probably refer to someone who is still in the closet and doesn't act quite as feminine.

 

[arthwollipot]

Full blown, meaning openly gay and acting extremely feminine...

Do you realise that most gay men are not effeminate?

Seems to me you probably need to meet more gay men. Actually you probably already have, but you didn't notice.

 

[Quad4_72]

Do you realise that most gay men are not effeminate?

Seems to me you probably need to meet more gay men. Actually you probably already have, but you didn't notice.

You know, I probably should have been a bit more specific in my OP. I should have said that I do not know very many gay men as opposed to having met gay men. I used to work at a club which would put on drag shows every once in a while. Plus they had an "80s night" which seemed to attract a lot of gay people. It was glaringly obvious who was gay and who was not, as pretty much every one of them acted feminine. I am going to have to disagree with you on that one. The stereotype is definitely true.

 

[arthwollipot]

You know, I probably should have been a bit more specific in my OP. I should have said that I do not know very many gay men as opposed to having met gay men. I used to work at a club which would put on drag shows every once in a while. Plus they had an "80s night" which seemed to attract a lot of gay people. It was glaringly obvious who was gay and who was not, as pretty much every one of them acted feminine. I am going to have to disagree with you on that one. The stereotype is definitely true.

Perhaps when in a social situation of the kind you describe. But if you were to meet a gay man at the mall, you probably wouldn't know he was gay. Clubs like you describe give social permission for gay men to behave outrageously, in a way that they wouldn't outside the club situation. Trust me on this - you can't normally tell a gay man by his behaviour.

 

[ThatSoundAgain]

You know, I probably should have been a bit more specific in my OP. I should have said that I do not know very many gay men as opposed to having met gay men. I used to work at a club which would put on drag shows every once in a while. Plus they had an "80s night" which seemed to attract a lot of gay people. It was glaringly obvious who was gay and who was not, as pretty much every one of them acted feminine. I am going to have to disagree with you on that one. The stereotype is definitely true.

On top of what Arth says - and which I can confirm from experience - that sounds to me like circular reasoning with a chaser of confirmation bias.

You're saying you could tell who was gay and who was straight based on how effeminately they acted - and you know you were correct because the gays acted effeminately.

One cool thing about happening by the Pride parade here in town last summer was noticing how many, and how different people came out to march. Sure, there was over-the-top dancing and costumes, but it was more instructive to look at the masses. Microsoft's delegation looked especially down to earth, as did the rear troop of the bears. Being a tall, bearded, borderline hipster myself, I could've blended in seamlessly.

 

[Quad4_72]

On top of what Arth says - and which I can confirm from experience - that sounds to me like circular reasoning with a chaser of confirmation bias.

You're saying you could tell who was gay and who was straight based on how effeminately they acted - and you know you were correct because the gays acted effeminately.

One cool thing about happening by the Pride parade here in town last summer was noticing how many, and how different people came out to march. Sure, there was over-the-top dancing and costumes, but it was more instructive to look at the masses. Microsoft's delegation looked especially down to earth, as did the rear troop of the bears. Being a tall, bearded, borderline hipster myself, I could've blended in seamlessly.

Not sure what you are getting at here. In gay pride parades, there are tons of straight people who march in those.

 

[Tsukasa Buddha]

You know, I probably should have been a bit more specific in my OP. I should have said that I do not know very many gay men as opposed to having met gay men. I used to work at a club which would put on drag shows every once in a while. Plus they had an "80s night" which seemed to attract a lot of gay people. It was glaringly obvious who was gay and who was not, as pretty much every one of them acted feminine. I am going to have to disagree with you on that one. The stereotype is definitely true.

Yeah, that's definitely a logic error there. Since you by definition would not have noticed the non-flamers, you can't even anecdotally compare the two populations.

 

[fatewilleatyou]

*nods* There's even two different words for gay men over there. Ehh... one term for the "pitcher" and another for the "catcher". The term for the "catcher" is also a really really bad insult.

I'll never understand why this distinction is so important to straight people. It's the first thing many of my friends asked me when I came out. I immediately classified them as not good friends since they should have known how much I hate sports analogies.

 

[slingblade]

Not sure what you are getting at here. In gay pride parades, there are tons of straight people who march in those.

How did you know who was straight?

I mean, it's obvious you think all gay men act and speak in a specific way, so I'm not asking you how you knew who was gay. You think you can always tell.

But how do you know which men in gay pride parades are the straight ones?


Are you sure about that...?

 

[Fnord]

I'll never understand why this distinction is so important to straight people. It's the first thing many of my friends asked me when I came out. I immediately classified them as not good friends since they should have known how much I hate sports analogies.

I never understood that, either. I call one gay friend 'Thomas', another gay friend 'Gregory', and yet another 'Jennifer'.

 

[BadBoy]

Full blown, meaning openly gay and acting extremely feminine.

I bet you got a real odd way of describing what a real man is too. You need to address your stereotypical facts about gay people. True some are feminine, some are very much not (seen the film American Beauty?). In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if some of the more butch anti gay men are just hiding their raving homosexuality behind a wall of macho bravado.

 

[Quad4_72]

How did you know who was straight?

I mean, it's obvious you think all gay men act and speak in a specific way, so I'm not asking you how you knew who was gay. You think you can always tell.

But how do you know which men in gay pride parades are the straight ones?


Are you sure about that...?

....You aren't making too much sense. The reason I said lots of straight people participate in gay pride parades is because I personally know lots of straight people who participate in gay pride parades. And you seem to be suggesting that ALL gay and straight people act exactly alike. It is not my contention that ALL gay people act feminine. From my personal experience, I have only seen gay people act feminine though, so to me the stereotype definitely holds true. Sorry if that offends you. If it does, start a campaign for homosexuals to start acting less feminine.

 

[Alan]

[...]From my personal experience, I have only seen gay people act feminine though, so to me the stereotype definitely holds true.[...]

I know some people who are not gay who act feminine. Some of them are even men.

 

[Mr. Scott]

You know, all these personal anecdotes, musings and observations have limited value, but I can't help chiming in with my own.

There is a tendency to call fems gay without regard to what gender they actually like to sleep with. It's very lazy thinking. I've know fems who were straight and non-fems who were gay. There are lots and lots of married men with families you would never suspect were gay who sneak around and have sex with other men. There are many gay bars and clubs that cater almost exclusively to non-fem gays. There are cross-dressers who are straight. FWIW no one guesses I am gay, and I don't think many people guess Randi is gay. He's not the least bit fem.

If you are outside of the gay community, you only know what you see. Fems are visible, the rest are not.

Religion and sexual orientation are assigned to individuals randomly, the former usually by their parents, the latter by nature. Gay kids are assigned their religion before they realize they are gay, and cognitive dissonance usually preserves their religious beliefs.

It seems rather strange that God would make so many men gay and then punish them with eternal hellfire for being what He made them. I would think this would lead many gay men to atheism, but I don't think it does.

FWIW C. A. Tripp observed that gays purportedly converted to straights by certain Christian evangelists showed abnormally exaggerated levels of effeminacy. Isn't that interesting?

 

[Quad4_72]

I bet you got a real odd way of describing what a real man is too. You need to address your stereotypical facts about gay people. True some are feminine, some are very much not (seen the film American Beauty?). In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if some of the more butch anti gay men are just hiding their raving homosexuality behind a wall of macho bravado.

You seem to be offended by something I have said. I think you and a lot of other people are in denial about gay people acting feminine. Again sorry, but that is just they way a lot of them are. The ones that act completely straight I have not met, or HAVE met but didn't know they were gay. That being said, I have met (Not known) A LOT of gay people through working at that club AND through my brother being very into ballroom dance through high school. All of those gay people either acted flamingly feminine, or just had feminine characteristics. This is my personal experience with gay people, and I acknowledge that there are probably plenty who act straight.

 

[Quad4_72]

I know some people who are not gay who act feminine. Some of them are even men.

Another good point. My brother for example acts mildly feminine at times. He participated in competitive ballroom dance and was on a dance team, so naturally he was exposed to plenty of gay people. He apparently picked up some of their traits, but he is completely straight.

 

[DC]

You seem to be offended by something I have said. I think you and a lot of other people are in denial about gay people acting feminine. Again sorry, but that is just they way a lot of them are. The ones that act completely straight I have not met, or HAVE met but didn't know they were gay. That being said, I have met (Not known) A LOT of gay people through working at that club AND through my brother being very into ballroom dance through high school. All of those gay people either acted flamingly feminine, or just had feminine characteristics. This is my personal experience with gay people, and I acknowledge that there are probably plenty who act straight.

now you are indeed starting to offend i think. your prejudice and limited experiance with homosexual people acting feminime are in no way indicaters that indeed all gay people act feminime. that nonsense and very unsceptical.

 

[DC]

Another good point. My brother for example acts mildly feminine at times. He participated in competitive ballroom dance and was on a dance team, so naturally he was exposed to plenty of gay people. He apparently picked up some of their traits, but he is completely straight.

wtf.....

 

[Alan]

Well, I think that aspects of culture like mannerisms and so on can be transferable.

 

[Quad4_72]

wtf.....

All of those gay guys acted feminine, so he apparently picked up a few of their personality traits. Does this bother you?