• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

Status
Not open for further replies.

JoeMorgue

Self Employed , Remittance Man
JoeMorgue
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
48,325
Location
Florida
Dear Users.

- "Oh I'm not a computer perso..." SHUT UP! Just shut up. Your entire job consists entirely of things that are completely done on a computer. This cutesy poo passive aggressive "Oh I'm not a computer person" line whenever I try to explain anything to you is insane. You don't get to remain functionally (and oddly proudly) intentionally ignorant of the core conceit of your entire job.

- "But I'm old..." SHUT UP! It's 2018. Computers have been common in office environments since the late 70s/ early 80s and totally ubiquitous since the mid-90s or so. You're 40 not 110. Unless you're a Highlander the math on the whole "But I'm toooooo old to learn computers" excuse just doesn't add up.

- No I am not going to maintain older, no longer supported versions of software that are riddled with security holes and have zero support structure still in place just for you to use because that's what you're used to. I don't care that you've kept this spreadsheet in VisiCalc on your Amiga since the Carter administration and "That's what I'm used to," it's going on an a version of Excel from this millennium.

- "My computer don't work." isn't a trouble call. I need to know what function you can't perform, what error you are seeing, something to work off of. If you can't functionally describe the problem you are having, then I can't fix it. "It doesn't do what it usually does but I can't describe what it usually does" doesn't leave me anywhere to go.

- It is not my job to do aspects of your job just because those aspects are "on the computer." In loose analogous terms I'm your mechanic, I am neither your drive or your driving instructor. If your check engine light is on, call me. If your car won't start, call me. If your car pulls to left on straight roads, call me. If you forgot how to turn on your headlights for the 20th time, don't call me. If you want your radio stations changed, don't call me. If you want someone to drive you to the store, don't call me.

So no I have no bloody flippin' clue what the diagnostic code for a detached patella is and I shouldn't have that information available off the top of my head just because the form you are filling that information into is "on the computer." Your IT Support staff are not experts, or indeed even user trained, on how to functionally use every piece of medical software, every hospital and insurance company's website, or why your

- I cannot reset your GMail, Facebook, or in car stereo password/PIN.

- Every problem is not the result of the last thing IT did to your computer. No your computer was not "working fine before the IT guy touched it." No me adding a printer did not make your e-mail rules stop working.
 
-If the problem is important enough to ask for my assistance, then it's important enough for you to respond to my questions about it. It's incredibly rude and insulting to open your high-priority ticket for an urgent problem, then to have my emails and phone calls ignored for two days because you were "doing something else".

-When the system is all working fine and there are no issues, that doesn't mean we aren't doing our job. In fact, that usually means we have been doing our job, and well, consistently. Things don't run smoothly just because; networks and enterprises take proper care and feeding so the users don't see problems.

-ETA: Don't tell me I need to disable/remove/adjust the anti-virus on your server unless there's some sort of indication the anti-virus is the issue. If you got no notifications of blocked content or quarantined files, the AV didn't do it. Additionally, you're a server admin; the AV logs are in the usual place, easily found (and parsed) with a cursory look, as well as the information being available via numerous methods internally. And even if it is an AV problem, don't expect me to know immediately what your software is, what exclusions it needs, and how it works. At the least send me a link to the support knowledge base for the product. Finding their article on interactions with AV is not asking for a pint of blood.
 
Last edited:
I put all my supported users' (family and friends) data on a drive separate from the OS. I then put in my preferred backup solution, creating backups on a schedule.
  • Viruses and problems with stuff not working/whatever: restore the most recent known-good OS backup.
  • Personal data: backed up to the local NAS, restored when needed.
  • AV and other software setup to do its periodic thing.
  • Bob is everyone's uncle.
The rest of support consists of variations on shrugs, eye-rolls, and menacing looks.
 
Last edited:
Hellbound said:
-If the problem is important enough to ask for my assistance, then it's important enough for you to respond to my questions about it.
Click to expand...

Also fixing your system often times requires me to actually get on your system. Don't demand a tech show up immediately and then put on a big showy power trip of being too busy for them to get on your computer to work the issue.

When the system is all working fine and there are no issues, that doesn't mean we aren't doing our job. In fact, that usually means we have been doing our job, and well, consistently. Things don't run smoothly just because; networks and enterprises take proper care and feeding so the users don't see problems.
Click to expand...

IT Condition 1: Everything is working, why do we even have you guys?
IT Condition 2: Something is broken, why are we even paying you guys?
 
- If a system wide issue is occurring and it is affecting all users, I don't need to see your particular instance of the issue.

Bill the User: "Hey Ted, my e-mail won't come up."
Ted the IT Guy: "Yeah Bill sorry about that, e-mail server is down. We're working on it."
Bill: "Well can can look at my e-mail?"
 
Last edited:
JoeMorgue said:
- If a system wide issue is occurring and it is affecting all users, I don't need to see your particular instance of the issue.

Bill the User: "Hey Ted, my e-mail won't come up."
Ted the IT Guy: "Yeah Bill sorry about that, e-mail server is down. We're working on it."
Bill: "Well can can look at my e-mail?"
Click to expand...

Would it be better to send out a company wide email and ask everyone to reply-all with their particular concerns so you can properly diagnose the issue?
 
Dr. Keith said:
Would it be better to send out a company wide email and ask everyone to reply-all with their particular concerns so you can properly diagnose the issue?
Click to expand...

Of course (leaving aside the e-mail during an e-mail outage joke you were probably going for) keeping the user base updated on outages and issues is important.

But there's a difference between that and having to give each individual user a warm and fuzzy at the expense of working the actual larger issue.
 
Dr. Keith said:
Would it be better to send out a company wide email and ask everyone to reply-all with their particular concerns so you can properly diagnose the issue?
Click to expand...

Oh, god.

And then the dozen or so "reply all"s back to the guy to tell him he replied all, and the cycle never ends, until the entire universe collapses into the black hole of stupid created by nonsense emails multiplying at frightful rates to infinity.

*shudder*

Users give me nightmares.
 
Dr. Keith said:
Would it be better to send out a company wide email and ask everyone to reply-all with their particular concerns so you can properly diagnose the issue?
Click to expand...

JoeMorgue said:
Of course (leaving aside the e-mail during an e-mail outage joke you were probably going for) keeping the user base updated on outages and issues is important.

But there's a difference between that and having to give each individual user a warm and fuzzy at the expense of working the actual larger issue.
Click to expand...

I think you missed the joke he went for ;)

ETA: Or, of course, he could be multi-tasking
 
Hellbound said:
I think you missed the joke he went for ;)

ETA: Or, of course, he could be multi-tasking
Click to expand...

I think that aspect of the joke was too dark for most sys admins to even recognize.

There is nothing more beautiful from a stooge user's point of view than a massive reply-all spreading across a global organization over the course of days. It's the only thing I miss from my large company days. Well, that and the donuts.
 
Dr. Keith said:
I think that aspect of the joke was too dark for most sys admins to even recognize.

There is nothing more beautiful from a stooge user's point of view than a massive reply-all spreading across a global organization over the course of days. It's the only thing I miss from my large company days. Well, that and the donuts.
Click to expand...

We got smart (well, smarter, anyway). We restrict which users can send to the large groups, including in replies. That makes sys admins get use from their pillows again.
 
- Don't tell me your problem is "causing a work stoppage" or "you're at a standstill." You work on a computer. If the computer doesn't work of course you can't work. That's what working on a computer means. Every issue I get is a work stoppage for somebody. You don't automatically go to the front of the line.
 
When I worked on the alpha of what eventually became IBM Websphere the chief architect of the project which covered just about every IBM software lab went on holiday. He set his out-of-office. He did not set the option to only reply once to each email address he received email from. Anyone remember majordomo? The mailing list manager? He was subscribed to all the discussions on that.
So he starts getting emails from it. His out-of-office replies saying he's out-of-office which gets sent to all the members of that mailing list. To which his out-of-office replies.
 
Wudang said:
When I worked on the alpha of what eventually became IBM Websphere the chief architect of the project which covered just about every IBM software lab went on holiday. He set his out-of-office. He did not set the option to only reply once to each email address he received email from. Anyone remember majordomo? The mailing list manager? He was subscribed to all the discussions on that.
So he starts getting emails from it. His out-of-office replies saying he's out-of-office which gets sent to all the members of that mailing list. To which his out-of-office replies.
Click to expand...

You were responsible for WebSphere?

I hope you realize this gets you a place on the list...

:D
 
Hellbound said:
You were responsible for WebSphere?

I hope you realize this gets you a place on the list...

:D
Click to expand...

I worked on the managed object factory of what was then Component Broker and the whole team at Hursley left after we'd delivered the alpha as it was such a horrid project to work on. I moved to MQ and most of the rest formed the IBM java team.
Don on websphere greatest mistake
 
In the late 90's I had this conversation with an older woman:
"Can you help me fix my computer?"
"Maybe, what kind of computer is it?"
"Um, it's the kind that you get on the internet with."
 
In 1996 I had to explain to someone, over the phone, how to double-click. Yes, they were a Windows user.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

catsmate
Cont: Dear Users… (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) Part 11
20 21 22 23 24
Replies
478
Views
20K
commandlinegamer
commandlinegamer
TragicMonkey
  • Locked
Dear Users… (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) Part 10
125 126 127 128 129
Replies
3K
Views
196K
arthwollipot
arthwollipot

Back
Top Bottom