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Darwin Awards 2007

I watched Jackass Number Two the other day, and Steve-O did exactly this. I remember thinking at the time that it, along with Preston getting a bellows-enema (air embolism anyone?) were spectacularly bad and potentially Darwin Award-winning ideas.
 
Mmmmfff, I haven't seen anything as funny as either the JATO incident (which was not confirmed and eventually exposed as an urban legend) or Lawn Chair Larry (which didn't result in a death) in many years; the closest has been another non-death incident, with the raccoon in the manhole. All of those made me laugh myself sick. People are less creative these days, I guess; most of those just made me shake my head with only the current number one even eliciting a chuckle.
 
I'm sorry...can someone again remind me of how smart and professional um...professional journalists are?

Confirmed True by Darwin
(2007, India) Increased mining and recent rains in southeast India have unsettled the wildife.
 
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I have my own nomination for the DA, a personal annecdote:

I was cross country skiing near town here a couple of years back, on a groomed trail that eventually wound around and down into a willowy bottomland that traces the course of a creek. At some point my workout was interupted by the presence of a large cow moose, straddling the trail and munching away on osiers. Her calf was tucked in her shadow.

Moose are very formidable, nearsighted, territorial and notoriously aggressive. Many forest rangers I've talked to have said they'd rather run into a brown bear than a moose. "Furry locomotives with an attitude" is an oft used description.

So I stopped about 100 feet away (as soon as I saw the pair), and watched quietly for a while. They may be formidable, but they're interesting. And very nearsighted.

After a few minutes, a couple of local lady skiers came along the twisting trail, and I flagged them down, as they were engaged in intent conversation, and would clearly not have noticed the moose until . . . well who knows if they would have.

Me: Excuse me ladies but you might want to stop.

Them: What for?

Me: Well there are those moose on the trail . . .

Them: Moose?

Me: The big brown things blocking the trail there . . .

Them: Well, what are they doing on the ski trail?

Me: I think they live here.

Them: Can't you do something?

Me: Yes.

Long Pause.

Them: Well what are we supposed to do now?

Me: What I'm going to do is turn around and ski back the other way.

Them: But it's a one-way trail!

I couldn't argue with this logic. I shrugged and they skied on toward the moose pair. The moose let them get about half way and charged. The ladies did an admirable job of launching themselves, skis, poles and all, into the willows, and the moose and her calf thundered past them . . . right at me. I launched myself into the willows, skis, poles and all. The moose kept going at a high rate of speed until they were over a knoll and out of sight. After extracting myself from the snow and the thicket, and fearing what I would do or say to the other two, I turned around and skied back the wrong way.

Natural Selection is a blind, mechanistic process, and can't be counted on to do the right thing at any given moment.
 
Nothing tops 2006's winner:

He wanted to see if his jacket was "stab-proof" and thought the best method of testing this was to plunge the knife through his chest while wearing it.

Edit: I really hate the title "new blood". It sounds as if I'm going to be hazed...anally...
 
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Adonis said:
Edit: I really hate the title "new blood". It sounds as if I'm going to be hazed...anally...
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Welcome to the forum Adonis. With a name like that, your fear seems justified.
 
My favorite line is from the Enema Within story in which an alcoholic gave himself alcohol enemas...

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding.
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The guy died with a BAC of 0.47.

Steve S.
 
Tokenconservative said:
Elephants are big, and elephants are fast. As the recent deaths illustrate, a person can't out-run an elephant. But these intrepid journalists apparently assumed that a press pass grants immunity.

With a nose for news, the journalists sniffed out the herd. Once located, it was only natural that they should capture the photogenic animals on film. Unfortunately, the elephants were camera shy. Angered by the flash, the irritated herd charged the paparazzi, miraculously killing only one of the four.
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I recently saw a show in which a band of marauding chimpanzees was hunting chimps from other tribes, to kill them and eat them. The show recorded the chimps following a forest path, filing past the camera. The way the camera panned to follow them, there almost had to be someone right there operating it. Maybe he was in a titanium blind or something, but I couldn't help thinking, what's to stop a mob of hungry chimps from tagging a cameraman as a "chimp from another tribe"? I guess he got his film without being eaten, but I'm not sure it was a smart thing to do.
 
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