Cloning the Red Hefier

[Dancing David]

Somewhere in the Bible there is mention of the 'red hefier' and how it is tied up with the messiah. I heard today that there are groups planning to try to geneticaly create the red hefier to bring the Messiah.

My question for the R&P forum.

Isn't this cheating? Would not god be the one to chose the time of the coming of the red hefier? Would god be taken in by such an obviuos ploy?

(I think it is much cooler that there was the white buffala born quite a while back)

 

[Beleth]

No worries. It not only has to be a red heifer, it has to be a red heifer without blemish. And all the people that handle the heifer have to be clean, yada yada yada.

Say they succeed in making a red heifer, and she looks like she's without blemish. There are so many places where this sacrifice could go wrong that even if they pull it off, they can blame the non-return of the Messiah on almost any step of the process. Just like any self-respecting woo-woo would.

(Numbers 19:1-12 for the curious)

 

[Crossbow]

So, god is dead.

Long live the red hefier!

Moo. I just hope the happy cow does not happen to visit any cattle farms, diners, or shoe stores.

 

[arcticpenguin]

Maybe God is working through the geneticists, so that selectively breeding a read heifer isn't fooling God, it is fulfilling his will.

 

[shemp]

Is this about Hugh Hefier?

 

[Blue Monk]

Whew, what a relief!!!

For a minute there I thought someone had plans to clone my third wife.

 

[Beleth]

Maybe God is working through the geneticists, so that selectively breeding a read heifer isn't fooling God, it is fulfilling his will.

This is a perfectly valid scenario, you know.

The proof of the validity of this scenario will be, of course, when The Notorious J.C. shows up after the heifer dies.

 

[arcticpenguin]

This is a perfectly valid scenario, you know.

The proof of the validity of this scenario will be, of course, when The Notorious J.C. shows up after the heifer dies.

I confess I'm not up on the relevant document. Does JC show up right after the heifer dies, or do other events take place in between, like armageddon?

I.e. how worried should I be about those people who want to help the second coming come about?

 

[Pahansiri]

The translation from the OT was only this week fully understood as to this prophecy concerning what for many years was thought to say:

Numbers 19
1 And the LORD spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying,
2 This is the ordinance of the law which the LORD hath commanded, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring thee a red heifer without spot, wherein is no blemish, and upon which never came yoke:
3 And ye shall give her unto Eleazar the priest, that he may bring her forth without the camp, and one shall slay her before his face:
4 And Eleazar the priest shall take of her blood with his finger, and sprinkle of her blood directly before the tabernacle of the congregation seven times:
5 And one shall burn the heifer in his sight; her skin, and her flesh, and her blood, with her dung, shall he burn:
6 And the priest shall take cedar wood, and hyssop, and scarlet, and cast it into the midst of the burning of the heifer.
7 Then the priest shall wash his clothes, and he shall bathe his flesh in water, and afterward he shall come into the camp, and the priest shall be unclean until the even.
8 And he that burneth her shall wash his clothes in water, and bathe his flesh in water, and shall be unclean until the even.
9 And a man that is clean shall gather up the ashes of the heifer, and lay them up without the camp in a clean place, and it shall be kept for the congregation of the children of Israel for a water of separation: it is a purification for sin.
10 And he that gathereth the ashes of the heifer shall wash his clothes, and be unclean until the even: and it shall be unto the children of Israel, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among them, for a statute for ever.
11 He that toucheth the dead body of any man shall be unclean seven days.
12 He shall purify himself with it on the third day, and on the seventh day he shall be clean: but if he purify not himself the third day, then the seventh day he shall not be clean.

Modern biblical scholars now completely and unanimously agree it was not red heifer but in fact Hugh Heffner

 

[Beleth]

Good question, AP. I googled +"red heifer" +"second coming" and found this. In summary:

There's this special hill in Jerusalem, called Temple Mount, that used to have a temple built on it (hence the name). This temple has been knocked down twice before: once by Nebuchadnezzar, and once by the Romans. It has not been rebuilt since then.

Now, the fun part of Temple Mount is that it's also known by Muslims as the Dome of the Rock, where Muhammed and his horse galloped straight up into Heaven.

Christians, apparently feeling left out, have decided that this particular spot is where JC will come back and start Armageddon from.

This is where it starts to get interesting. JC won't come back until the Temple has been built for a third time. But who will build it? The Muslims sure aren't going to. The Mount is so holy to Jews that no Jew is "pure" enough to even set foot on it. And the Christians are apparently honoring the Jewish restriction.

But (of course there's a "but", and it's good enough to become the plot for Dogma 2) there's a way to make a Jew pure enough to set foot there. And that's to purify him in the ashes of... wait for it... a red heifer.

So let's look at the game plan here:
1) Get Jews in charge of Israel, and Jerusalem, and Temple Mount.
Status: Done.
Notes: The UN did this in 1948.

2) Get a red heifer.
Status: In progress.

3) Slaughter said red heifer the proper way, burn her, and put her ashes on some Jews to purify them.
Status: Dependent on 2.

4) Have those pure Jews go to Temple Mount and build the Third Temple.
Status: Dependent on 3.

5) Wait for JC to show up, according to prophecy.
Status: Dependent on 4.

6) Armageddon, Rapture, tribulation, 1000 years of yada yada yada.
Status: Dependent on 5.



Sounds like just the thing Genetic Engineering was designed for, don'tcha think?

Edit: Here's a cool picture of what that hill looks like now. You might have to strain to see it. Look for the gold dome.