• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Chick Returns

Every one of these tracts has at least one frame I call the "Jack Chick moment" where things are so absurd I crack up:

1020_21.gif

Is it just me, or is God's advice a little obvious for an all-knowing deity? You think she would bang on the door until she suffocates, but I guess prayer conserves more oxygen.

Of course, I get the message. Fundamentalists kidnap people like poor Donna:
1020_04.gif


Poor old Jesus is spinning in his grave.
 
I thought it was a bit disjointed, with the inclusion of all that anti-lying stuff (Ninth commandment? That girl was coveting her neighbor's wife??) but the artwork was pretty good. Loved the crazed childbeating woman in mid-swing. Chick seems to worry that evil Arabs are lusting after blond white girls...and have to send to the US to get them. There were plenty of blondes in Europe, last time I checked, and that would save at least 3000 miles of transporting them.

My favorite line: "We've replaced him with our television set." I wonder, could I trade in Jesus for an upgrade to HDTV? Or a bigscreen?
 
TragicMonkey said:
I thought it was a bit disjointed, with the inclusion of all that anti-lying stuff (Ninth commandment? That girl was coveting her neighbor's wife??) but the artwork was pretty good. Loved the crazed childbeating woman in mid-swing. Chick seems to worry that evil Arabs are lusting after blond white girls...and have to send to the US to get them. There were plenty of blondes in Europe, last time I checked, and that would save at least 3000 miles of transporting them.

My favorite line: "We've replaced him with our television set." I wonder, could I trade in Jesus for an upgrade to HDTV? Or a bigscreen?
Click to expand...

Its not just little blond girls, apparently it is Shirley Temple specific...or at least the brute in the car has a Shirley Temple thing...
 
c4ts said:

Is it just me, or is God's advice a little obvious for an all-knowing deity?

Of course, I get the message. Fundamentalists kidnap people like poor Donna in there.
Click to expand...

Really? The message I got is that the girl is so stupid she doesn't know to pound on the trunk. Maybe she's read so many Chick tracks, her brain cells jumped ship.
 
Lisa Simpson said:
Really? The message I got is that the girl is so stupid she doesn't know to pound on the trunk. Maybe she's read so many Chick tracks, her brain cells jumped ship.
Click to expand...

Exactly. She's too dumb to pound on the door, and God's too dumb to think of a clever escape.
 
TragicMonkey said:
(Ninth commandment? That girl was coveting her neighbor's wife??)
Click to expand...

According to Sin Busters, it's "thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Somehow, bearing false witness encompasses all possible lies. I don't know how, "bearing witness" was part of what you do to settle a dispute, but go figure.
 
Oh, I get it! If I lie to someone, or hurt someone, or otherwise wrong someone, I should apologize... but NOT to the person that I've wronged! Instead, I should apologize to Jesus, and then the record will be wiped clean and I'll be on my way to heaven!

Also, it is extremely important for law enforcement personnel to tell citizens whether the Almighty is present, and what the Almighty would want if He here.

It's also acceptable for officers of the law to wear turtlenecks.

Further, it is quite clear that the Almighty favors "the Superman approach," by coming to the rescue after a problem has arisen, rather than by preventing the problem in the first place. Also, just as Superman plays favorites by saving Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen while letting others perish, the Lord plays favorites, too. Four other girls did not receive the favor of a divine rescue.
 
Religioustolerance.org agrees with you, c4ts.

9th Commandment; Verse 16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."


This forbids perjury while testifying in a courtroom. In ancient Israel, a person who lies in court receives the penalty that would be due a person guilty of the crime at question.


The common meaning of this commandment is unchanged today.


The Westminster Larger Catechism includes the sins of passing unjust sentence, tale bearing, whispering, boasting, etc.
Click to expand...
 
Brown said:
the Lord plays favorites, too. Four other girls did not receive the favor of a divine rescue.
Click to expand...

You, in fact, don't know that. They could be pounding on a trunk lid in Saudi Arabia even as we speak....
 
headscratcher4 said:
You, in fact, don't know that. They could be pounding on a trunk lid in Saudi Arabia even as we speak....
Click to expand...

Actually, they were just lying girls who would not accept jesus. I think they were making fun of a bald man.
 
This panel seems sillier.

1020_19.gif


Holly: Oh God, please help me.

Jesus: Uh... why don't you try yelling at him?


Also, the abusive couple seems so laughably unsubtle.

Hick: Well, used to go to church.

Cop: I don't see God here.

Hick: Oh yeah, we replaced him with the TV. ...wait a minute. Sorry about that. We'll go back to the pawn shop and trade the TV back in for our lord and savior.
 
I feel so sorry for that poor man getting beat with a banana.

1020_14.gif


I only pray to my god, The Television Set, it was ripe.

1020_15.gif
 
TragicMonkey said:
I thought it was a bit disjointed, with the inclusion of all that anti-lying stuff (Ninth commandment? That girl was coveting her neighbor's wife??) but the artwork was pretty good. Loved the crazed childbeating woman in mid-swing. Chick seems to worry that evil Arabs are lusting after blond white girls...and have to send to the US to get them. There were plenty of blondes in Europe, last time I checked, and that would save at least 3000 miles of transporting them.

My favorite line: "We've replaced him with our television set." I wonder, could I trade in Jesus for an upgrade to HDTV? Or a bigscreen?
Click to expand...
:D

For all the money folks give to televangilists they should get a damn good set.

It was very disjointed. I thought the fighting couple were being facetious at first. I'm such a cynic. I ought to know that Christ could quickly solve serious marital problems.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom