Brett Seres application

[jmercer]

I'm in NY - been here all of my life - and I've never heard the dude's name before. If you come up short on judges, I'll help you out if you want.

I can't meet the "out of shape, heavy exercise" requirement because I go to a gym and I'm a practicing martial artist. (Although I'm still too overweight to be considered "in shape", so maybe that'll work - you tell me.)

Sad stuff.

 

[Lisa Simpson]

Yeah, it is sad. I wondered if being in this pitch black, soundless room was giving him sort of sensory deprivation hallucinations.

Sometimes these muscles that are stimulated "resting" pick up on the small wind vibrations the ghosts leave when they fly threw your arm or leg easier.

Wind vibrations? Jeez, someone who is out of shape who suddenly does a couple hours of cardio and weight lifting is going to have shaky limbs.

 

[KRAMER]

SAD

I think that if we were to compose a list of this applicant's ten most serious problems, Sensory Deprivation Hallucinations wouldn't even make the cut.

What makes this sad in a way you'll never understand unless you were sitting beside me, is that rather than having his application notarized, he sent a xerox of his NY Driver's License.

He's just a kid.

The pic on his license just makes me think he's looking directly into my eyes and saying, "Please. Help me."

...And there's no one out there who loves him enough to tell him that he has a serious problem?

For me, this is by far the saddest claim to date. I'm a pretty tough nut, but this one is making me wish the weekend was starting right now.

 

[jmercer]

Oh, God, I was so hoping it would turn out to be an old dude. I searched the internet and came up with one single reference to Brett Seres:

http://www.flushing.k12.mi.us/srhigh/rishmawi/2003_Match_Results.htm

It's a 2003 wrestling match results list for Flushing, Queens, NY. He's about half-way down under "Flushing 50 Cross-Lex 24", which means (if he graduated in 2003) that he's about 18 or 19 now.

Please tell me it's not some kid from Queens...

 

[KRAMER]

He's not

He's not from Queens. He's from upstate. And he turns 23 later this year.

 

[jmercer]

Bad enough, but better than I was thinking. Thanks.