Bizarre Corporate Speak

[Art Vandelay]

I got some junk mail from a company with this slogan:

"The Peninsula's Favorite Mercedes Benz Repair Facility Alternative dealer quality service with 30% less!"

What?!?

Taking "30%" to be shorthand for "thirty percent", that's a total of fifteen words. Of those fifteen words, there are twelve nouns (and eight nouns in a row), one article, one adjective, one preposition, and no verbs. And thirty percent less what? Who are these people? What are they thinking? Have our companies been taken over by aliens? There seems to be this idea that the less clear your speech, the more intelligent you appear.

 

[TragicMonkey]

Clarification obvious less simplistic alternative 95% value quality quantification option value!!

 

[WildCat]

Clearly, Pakistani homeopaths have started an advertising agency.

 

[Nyarlathotep]

Clearly, Pakistani homeopaths have started an advertising agency.

Prove Mercedes molecules and win the hundred of prizes!

 

[Lord Muck oGentry]

McGonagall lives on in prose!
http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/

 

[Cleon]

Clearly, some company needs to seriously consider realigning their priorities and building synergy.

 

[SuperCoolGuy]

Obviously confusing confiscation notoriety of impressionable posts with $50 rebate description notwithstanding headache

 

[shemp]

All your Mercedes Benz Repair Facility Alternative dealer quality service belong to us!

 

[luchog]

Clearly, some company needs to seriously consider realigning their priorities and building synergy.

Sounds like they'd be better off focussing on their core competencies. This clearly isn't one of them.

 

[DavidJames]

sounds like there paradigm shift could use some grease

(I used 'there', just for Art )

 

[Zep]

It seems punctuation is one of the first skills being dropped from teaching English these days.