Frozenwolf150
Formerly SilentKnight
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2007
- Messages
- 4,134
I honestly have no idea what possessed me to write this.
Sung to the tune of "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" from Avenue Q.
Chris: Hey Sam, can I ask you a question?
Sam: About what?
Chris: Didn't you once say that we need to prevent religious fanatics from ever getting their hands on nuclear weapons, at all costs? Now where have I heard THAT sort of argument before?
Sam: What are you talking about?
Chris: You sounded just like Stalin! What are you trying to say, huh? That we should resort to the use of force to convince the religious that our views are correct? Huh, huh, huh?
Sam: No, no, no, not at all! I'm sorry, I guess that was a bit Stalin.
Chris: Well I'll say! You should be a lot more careful when proposing ways to deal with the problem of religion.
Sam: Well, look who's talking!
Chris: What do you mean?
Sam: If I recall correctly, you recently sided with the neocons, saying that because of the threat religion poses, we must prepare for war with Iran!
Chris: Oh come on, that was taken completely out of context!
Sam: But you said it anyway, right? You see?
You're a little bit Stalin.
Chris: Well, you're a little bit too.
Sam: I guess we're both a little bit Stalin.
Chris: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.
Sam: But I guess it's true...
Chris: Between me and you,
I think...
Both: Atheists are all a bit Stalin
At times!
Doesn't mean we go around committing
War crimes!
For atheists no matter where
Tolerance can be quite rare.
Maybe it's a fact we should confess.
We all see religion as B.S.
Sam: This isn't to say that we hold any personal animosity against religionists.
Chris: No!
Sam: In fact, we want to help educate and enlighten them to reality.
Chris: Exactly!
Both: Atheists are all a bit Stalin
Some way!
We all want religion to die off
One day!
Blasphemy might be a shock,
But faith is just so fun to mock.
Don't take it as personal attacks.
God can't be offended, so relax!
Sam: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Chris: Okay!
Sam: They say you should never bring a knife, but what's the one thing you should always bring to a religious gunfight? A canon! Get it?
Chris: Oh, and some holy water with Clozapine in it, to treat the schizophrenia!
Dick: What are you talking about, Sam?
Chris: Uh...
Dick: Were you just implying that religionists are mentally ill?
Sam: But a lot of atheists say that.
Dick: I think there are a lot of better arguments to be made than to compare religion to schizophrenia.
Sam: Well, weren't you the one who equated belief in God to a delusion?
Dick: Well, of course I did! God is a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. Who in their right minds would worship such a thing?
Sam: Now, don't you think that's a bit Stalin?
Dick: Well damn, I guess you're right.
Chris: You're a little bit Stalin.
Dick: Well, you're a little bit too.
Sam: We're all a little bit Stalin.
Dick: I think that I would have to agree with you.
Sam & Chris: We're glad you do.
Dick: It's sad, but true!
Atheists are all a bit Stalin
All right!
Chris: All right!
Sam: All right!
Dick: All right!
Nonbelievers sometimes think
In terms of black and white.
All: If we all could just admit
That we are Stalin a little bit,
Even though we all know that it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us-- get along.
Sam: Oh Jesus, I feel better now.
Chris: Now wait, there's no evidence Jesus ever existed.
Sam: Come on, that's just a figure of speech.
Dick: Besides, what does it matter if Jesus ever existed?
Chris: Because it means that all those deluded morons are worshiping a fairy tale!
Dick: But even so, it's not going to stop them from praying to something that doesn't exist.
Sam: Guys, please, Jesus is dead anyway. (Everyone laughs)
Dan: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Dick: Stalinism!
Dan: Stalin? You mean that Russian guy?
Sam: Yeah, but you have to wonder what his hurry was.
Dick: Now wait, how could he have been Russian if he was Stalin?
Sam: Maybe he was trying to make up for lost time.
Dan: Are you sticking labels on people again? People should be free to choose their own group designations! Why do you think I helped champion the Brights movement?
Dick: Oh come off it, Dan!
Atheists are all a bit Stalin.
Dan: Not a chance!
Chris: What about your Evolutionist stance?
Dan: What? Chris!
Sam: Buddy, how could you have missed?
The term is Adaptationist!
Dan: I know you have no intention to be,
But I find Evolutionist-- derogatory!
Chris: But a movement sounds like what religions do.
Dan: That might be true.
Chris: So you're Stalin too.
Dan: I guess you're right--
The Muslims cheer on terror
And the Christians pray for doomsday.
And Judaism is to blame
For they invented Yahweh!
Sam: I know!
Chris: I know!
Dick: But there's nothing wrong with saying that either!
All: Atheists are all a bit Stalin
It's true!
But each of us is just about as Stalin
As you!
If we all could just agree
That there's some Stalin in you and me,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in--
Harmony!
Dan: ...Atheists are all a bit Stalin.
Sung to the tune of "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" from Avenue Q.
Chris: Hey Sam, can I ask you a question?
Sam: About what?
Chris: Didn't you once say that we need to prevent religious fanatics from ever getting their hands on nuclear weapons, at all costs? Now where have I heard THAT sort of argument before?
Sam: What are you talking about?
Chris: You sounded just like Stalin! What are you trying to say, huh? That we should resort to the use of force to convince the religious that our views are correct? Huh, huh, huh?
Sam: No, no, no, not at all! I'm sorry, I guess that was a bit Stalin.
Chris: Well I'll say! You should be a lot more careful when proposing ways to deal with the problem of religion.
Sam: Well, look who's talking!
Chris: What do you mean?
Sam: If I recall correctly, you recently sided with the neocons, saying that because of the threat religion poses, we must prepare for war with Iran!
Chris: Oh come on, that was taken completely out of context!
Sam: But you said it anyway, right? You see?
You're a little bit Stalin.
Chris: Well, you're a little bit too.
Sam: I guess we're both a little bit Stalin.
Chris: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.
Sam: But I guess it's true...
Chris: Between me and you,
I think...
Both: Atheists are all a bit Stalin
At times!
Doesn't mean we go around committing
War crimes!
For atheists no matter where
Tolerance can be quite rare.
Maybe it's a fact we should confess.
We all see religion as B.S.
Sam: This isn't to say that we hold any personal animosity against religionists.
Chris: No!
Sam: In fact, we want to help educate and enlighten them to reality.
Chris: Exactly!
Both: Atheists are all a bit Stalin
Some way!
We all want religion to die off
One day!
Blasphemy might be a shock,
But faith is just so fun to mock.
Don't take it as personal attacks.
God can't be offended, so relax!
Sam: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Chris: Okay!
Sam: They say you should never bring a knife, but what's the one thing you should always bring to a religious gunfight? A canon! Get it?
Chris: Oh, and some holy water with Clozapine in it, to treat the schizophrenia!
Dick: What are you talking about, Sam?
Chris: Uh...
Dick: Were you just implying that religionists are mentally ill?
Sam: But a lot of atheists say that.
Dick: I think there are a lot of better arguments to be made than to compare religion to schizophrenia.
Sam: Well, weren't you the one who equated belief in God to a delusion?
Dick: Well, of course I did! God is a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. Who in their right minds would worship such a thing?
Sam: Now, don't you think that's a bit Stalin?
Dick: Well damn, I guess you're right.
Chris: You're a little bit Stalin.
Dick: Well, you're a little bit too.
Sam: We're all a little bit Stalin.
Dick: I think that I would have to agree with you.
Sam & Chris: We're glad you do.
Dick: It's sad, but true!
Atheists are all a bit Stalin
All right!
Chris: All right!
Sam: All right!
Dick: All right!
Nonbelievers sometimes think
In terms of black and white.
All: If we all could just admit
That we are Stalin a little bit,
Even though we all know that it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us-- get along.
Sam: Oh Jesus, I feel better now.
Chris: Now wait, there's no evidence Jesus ever existed.
Sam: Come on, that's just a figure of speech.
Dick: Besides, what does it matter if Jesus ever existed?
Chris: Because it means that all those deluded morons are worshiping a fairy tale!
Dick: But even so, it's not going to stop them from praying to something that doesn't exist.
Sam: Guys, please, Jesus is dead anyway. (Everyone laughs)
Dan: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Dick: Stalinism!
Dan: Stalin? You mean that Russian guy?
Sam: Yeah, but you have to wonder what his hurry was.
Dick: Now wait, how could he have been Russian if he was Stalin?
Sam: Maybe he was trying to make up for lost time.
Dan: Are you sticking labels on people again? People should be free to choose their own group designations! Why do you think I helped champion the Brights movement?
Dick: Oh come off it, Dan!
Atheists are all a bit Stalin.
Dan: Not a chance!
Chris: What about your Evolutionist stance?
Dan: What? Chris!
Sam: Buddy, how could you have missed?
The term is Adaptationist!
Dan: I know you have no intention to be,
But I find Evolutionist-- derogatory!
Chris: But a movement sounds like what religions do.
Dan: That might be true.
Chris: So you're Stalin too.
Dan: I guess you're right--
The Muslims cheer on terror
And the Christians pray for doomsday.
And Judaism is to blame
For they invented Yahweh!
Sam: I know!
Chris: I know!
Dick: But there's nothing wrong with saying that either!
All: Atheists are all a bit Stalin
It's true!
But each of us is just about as Stalin
As you!
If we all could just agree
That there's some Stalin in you and me,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in--
Harmony!
Dan: ...Atheists are all a bit Stalin.
